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My friend has an eating disorder and I don't know how to help her

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Question - (5 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2008)
A female Canada age 36-40, *IcE writes:

A friend of mine has been struggeling with an eating dissorder for 3 years. Ive known her since grade school and it hurts me to see her this way.

The only thing is she doesen't know that I know. Her Ex boyfriend (current at the time) came to me because he was worried about her health, he said not only does she have bulimia(throw up after you eat), shes restricts what she eats, and she constanly works out. Shes dropped hints to me and its to the point that her throte bleads and her mouth peels. Another good friend and I have decided to have somewhat of a "intervention" for her tonight expressing that we care. Ive already been talking to some experts and they've given me advice, but i really dont know what to do and maybe someone will have personal advice.

thanks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008):

i actually just recently found out that one of my best friends is anorexic. i mean, i have noticed some things she has done before but i have just been in complete denial of it. i confronted her with our other best friend and she is completely in denial. just some tips.. these girls are VERY smart. they lie about almost everything! when she says she'll get better, she wont. it IS a problem. this is the hardest thing i have ever had to do but after talking to my dad i realized the best thing to do is tell her parents. yeah, she might hate me. but im more worried about her survival. look at some "pro ana" sites. its girls giving tips on hpw to be sneaky. youll notice some things she has done and realize its a problem. im sorry you have to go through this too :[

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (6 June 2008):

Star_07 agony auntDo her parents know? Have you thought about talking to them? I know she would absolutely be mad at you but if you are concerned about her health then maybe you should go to someone. This is like a slow, painful death and left untreated, she could die.

Tell her you are really worried about her. If she says she is fine, then maybe you should confront it outright (nicely) that you know she has been throwing up her food ect. Make sure that you tell her that you really care about her, maybe a few times.

I hope it goes well, I'm sure it wont be easy.

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A female reader, nIcE Canada +, writes (6 June 2008):

nIcE is verified as being by the original poster of the question

nIcE agony auntThanks I know all of that Im just asking how I should bring up the topic thats all.

Im sorry its just I dont need the low down on what the disorder is because I know and I already know all the other things about it as well. I want advice on how to bring it up, thats all.

thanks

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2008):

DrPsych agony auntEating disorders require expert help as they can go on for years and relapse/ remission is typical. One cause of eating disorders is clinical depression and some sufferers respond to anti-depressant treatment combined with cognitive behavioural therapy. As a good friend all you can do is offer your support but it is ultimately up to her to recognise that she has a problem that requires professional help - she must want to get better. Your friendship will be most needed when she reaches that stage. You should find out about local services for eating disorders in the meantime so you can offer her positive guidance when the time is right.

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