A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: ok i have a problem.a friend of mine who i first met through myspace is obsessed with me.the only times weve met is when he came to my work a couple times,and that was a long time ago.we still chat sometimes but i dont talk to him much becuz everytime i do its the same thing.he wants to know why i wont date him,or when im going to date him,if im going to date him,etc,etc.today he sent me a poem about how he feels about me and it was pretty sad,and i responded that it was a nice poem but we are only friends.he always wants to know why i wont date him,and i always tell him that i just want to be friends but dont give a clear reason why.but the reason is he is just not my type.he doesnt work,and doesnt take care of himself appereance wise at all.he is just not someone a girl would want to date,i dont mean to sound harsh but its true.how do i get him off my back without sounding cruel? its driving me insane. as friends he is nice to talk to when hes not bugging me about going out with him,but he doesnt seem to get it that i dont want more than that.i need to get my point across in the kindest way possible,i dont want to hurt his feeings.
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female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (29 September 2008):
Unfortunately there is no gentle way to let someone like this down easy.
They seem to be too persistent and no matter how sweet or kind you try to be it doesn't work. They take your kindness as you are interested and it gives them a glimpse of hope that if they keep trying, you'll eventually give in. You are going to lay it out to him bluntly. Telling him that you are only interested in being friends and that you would like it if he would stop asking you about dating. I so hate telling people these sorts of things too, but honestly you have no choice in an instance like this.
good luck sweetie
Michelle
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