A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I really need some advice as I don't know how to go about this.Last Saturday, a very good friend of mine (we used to go out) invited me to come with her family and friends to their house in Cornwall. I thought great, I need a holiday and so took her up on it. However, it so turns out that there wasn't enough space until this Thursday. I thought that's fair enough, I don't want to encroach on their hospitality. She then said, after discussing it with her parents that I could come on Thursday when one of the guests leaves. Again I took her up on it as i'm really keen on the holiday. Unfortunately, because I live literally on the other side of the country and UK trains being what they are, I needed to know when they would be coming back via train, because I wanted to spend as much time as possible there and come back with all of them. She said she'd get back to me after contacting her mother. I called twice and both times she said that she'd check but she obviously hasn't or hasn't told me. Apparently, her mother is keen to see me as we haven't seen each other for a long time and my friend certainly seems to want me there. After all, she did invite me. Now what i'm worrying about, is if its a classic case scenario where someone (my friend) invites someone over for something and the hosts (the parents) only find out later but can't decline due to the offer having been already made. She still hasn't contacted me like she said she would, although to be honest she is forgetful sometimes when a lot's happening. Another thing I should say is that amongst the people who have gone with them is a guy who fancies her. Originally I thought this would be a problem for me, but surprisingly it isn't. I have a feeling that:1) Her and him have got together and knowing how I reacted in the distant past to a new relationship interest, she doesn't want to tell me and therefore is reluctant to let me come.2) Her parents don't actually feel comfortable with letting me stay for either the above reason or the fact that they don't want to continue feeding so many people. Quite understandable really.The thing is, I wouldn't mind if she'd told me straight out. Of course I could be being paranoid about the whole thing. Its happened before, so i'm not worrying too much about it. It's just a nagging thought that I want to get cleared in my head. I would rather find out now but I don't know how to without making them feel guilty. Do you know what I mean?If I go, I need to travel on Thursday, so you can appreciate time is running out, especially with the fact that I have to plan the trip and get tickets, pack and so on and so forth. So the questions are as follows:1) If I called them, what could I say so that I can find out if it would still be okay for them to have me without them having a guilt trip and automatically saying yes?2) Am I being paranoid? I realise this is an unusual question but I just need to know. If I am being daft say so please.I just don't want to intrude on their hospitality (I hate doing that kind of thing) and I certainly don't want to go on this holiday and feel unwelcome constantly.I hope that is sufficient detail. I look forward to all your responses. Thank you all very much for reading.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (21 August 2007):
 The only suggestion i can offer is that you phone them and ask them if there is anything they would like you to bring with you in the way of bedding etc.
They will either tell you no it's fine with have everything to accommodate you or come up with some reason that you can no longer come to stay, if everything is cool and you are still welcome then you can find out any info you need for the trip.
Take care.xx.
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