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My friend and my fwb were flirting and I am jealous and angry. What should I do about it?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I had a fwb/bc. Its just something we have between us, no one knows. In the eyes of some of our friends, we just met. The day we "met" we played it off fine. We were drinking with our friends. He drank a lot. There was a point when I asked him if he was drunk and he said yeah. My close girl friend was there and she was also drinking. She was talking about moving in with her bf. A few minutes after she said that, I see my fwb grabbing my friend by the waist and putting her in front of him (ass on his nuts). They stayed there for a minute but once he saw me, he put his hands on his pockets. She stayed there for a minute then she slid away to the side. He just walked away, drunk and all. He knew he fucked up. I was mad of course but didn't show it. For everyone else it was a bit awkward because she was just talking about her bf.

I was mad at both of them but mostly him. I talked to him and he said he didn't remember anything.

She doesn't know about us, at least I haven't told her anything. I don't think he would say anything to her.

I mean I hated her for a minute, having her ass on him. I just don't know whether to talk to her about it or not. Some advice would be great, thanks in advance.

View related questions: drunk, flirt, jealous

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011):

I agree with everyone else. If you wanted full GF rights then you wouldn't be a FWB.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011):

Sorry to break it to you but he can flirt with who he likes. You're not in a relationship with him. Most people aren't cut out for FWB (a stupid term because FRIENDS do not have sex!.

You're, more than likely, just one of many girls he's fooling around with. I think it's time you ended it because he's never going to be your boyfriend and he's going to carry on fooling around with other girls, whether you like it or not.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2011):

celtic_tiger agony aunt"I was mad of course but didn't show it."

To be perfectly honest you have no right to be mad at him. You are 'just' FWB.

FWB is no strings sex. No commitment. No relationship. Just sex.

He has no obligation to not look at other women.

He has no obligation not to have sex with other women.

He had no obligation not to date other women.

You are NOT his girlfriend, you have no say in who else he sees, dates or sleeps with. You are just his fuck buddy.

This is why FWB never work. Someone always gets more emotionally attached. You obviously want more - otherwise you wouldnt be so territorial over him.

If he wanted you as a girlfriend, he would be dating you, not being a FWB. You are just an easy lay when he feels the need and he will move on from you if someone better/more exciting comes along.

If you want a relationship, then tell him and ask him if he wants a committed relationship, otherwise you either have to accept you are just FWB and get over this.

Your choice.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (4 June 2011):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThe problem with being somebody's FWB is that all you are is a handy receptacle when he feels like some sex.

Thats all it is, you have no rights in this relationship, if you meant anything to this guy you would be his girlfriend not his handy bit of nookie.

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A male reader, Desperate101 Singapore +, writes (4 June 2011):

talk to her dont be shy anf ask your bc/fbc why did he do it.did he had feelings for her or is he really drunk talk it out just make sure things dont go out of hand.

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