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My friend and I have fallen out... how do I patch things up?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a long question for you, regarding my best friend. Ok... me and Girl A have been friends since starting primary school, and after starting the same secondary school together; best friends. We have always been inceperable untill we reached year 10. GCSE year. And I wasnt placed in any of her classes. Instead Girl A went with Girl B. There are 7 of us in our group of friends, but me and Girl A have always been best friends. Girl B is not in our group, but is a close friend. Anyway year 10 went by, obviously Girl A and B were getting much closer, as were I and the people I have lessons with. Me and Girl A caught the bus together, so we had al out close chats then. I would tell her everything, and likewise. However one of the girls in my group took a dislike to me, god knows why and thats a different story but she was constantly fighting with me and yelling at me and making snide comments and it realy got me down. Where was my best friend through all of this? Oh sitting silently watching. I didnt want someone to fight my battles, but I thought best friends stuck up for each other. I mentioned it to her and she said things would change. They didnt.

Anyway summer holidays came and I took her to Spain with my family. We had such a great time and met loads of new people. The rest of the summer went by perfectly we spent loads of time together it was all good! Start of year 11, we both had been moved of the private bus, onto a public one. In the mornings, a girl she never spoke to before is on the bus. So she chatters away to her ignoring me! Oh the evening bus is another girl we know, plus friends including one idiot.. boy A. Yes Girl A likes Boy A. So much it starts looking desperate... but I help her out because thats what im here for right?! IMO Boy A treats his 'friends' like dirt from what ive seen and is not attractive, but oh well. Anyway on the bus and at school she will completly ignor me when there are better people to talk too. I put so much effort in and for what?! Walking to school in the morning she will walk ahed with our other friend as I trail behind (I have a joint problem,its not serious but when it hurts I cant walk as fast). Next year Girl A, B and me all want to go to the same school, and I can see where that one is going to be headed... me as the outsider again.

Anyway one day Girl A had to rush into town from school to buy something, so was on the bus when I got there. There were no seats, she had decided to sit with Boy A. Fair enough, I went to the back and sat there, listening to my ipod. When Boy A got off the bus she leans round and goes 'You can sit here now.' Like its a privalidge or something! So being stubborn i said im fine here thanks. After that we just stopped talking. I wasnt even sure she was blanking me because we dont talk anyway, until my friends told me she was so upset... and im there like yeah so am I, nobody listens to me do they!? But of course didnt say that I just kept quiet because I dont make a big deal out of things. Few days later I got a series of abusive texts saying i was a b*itch, I needed a attitude change, I was ruining everyones lives etc etc (from my 'friends')and that made me mad, nobody was seeing it from my point of view! I wasnt mad at her, i was just so upset this had been building up for years!

So I called her. Not to apolgise, I hadnt done anything but to sort things out. We did, she was overjoyed to hear from me, she realy missed me, loved me, hated not speaking to me. We talked over the issues and she promised everything would change.

It didnt. For about half a day she paid me more attention, then it went back to usual. I cant even be bothered to try anymore. After talking to someone who acts like a best friend, Boy B, we decided she wasnt worth it, if she couldnt even stick up for me (I swear if she had gone through the same thing I would have probaly reduced that bully to nothing by now). I just cant stick to it. I love her and miss her but she treats me so bad. I want her back. We were both on msn the other day, but both too stuborn to start the convo. We have basicaly fallen out, without the official title, so nobody has a go. But I hate not being with her. We had so much. All of my pictures are of me and her mucking about, and thats alot! Please DearCupid, how do I resolve this one?

View related questions: best friend, msn, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010):

Basically, I would go and make other friends, she's not worth the time, pain or trouble :) x

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