| A ,
anonymous
writes: I am under 16 years old and I just started coming to a new school this year. I met a guy and we started dating, this was my first real relationship. One night I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night and went to his house. We had a great time. Hhe is so sweet and we have the same sense of humor about almost everything. I made a choice that night and we both had sex. Before we did he checked with me before we did anything and he was so genuine the whole time and I didn't feel weird at any time. I dont regret having sex with him at all. We are still having sex right now, but not very often, maybe twice a mounth. My parents have always been very strict and they just recently said that they didn't want me dating right now. They don't know that this guy and I are having sex, they have always wanted me to wait for marriage. I just dont know what to do. I have already told my boyfriend about the situation and he said that he would never break up with me over something like my parents. But I can't see him very much right now and I feel like since we have had sex and he was my first, that I can't break up with him or people will think that I am someone that will do it with anyone. I just want your advice on what I should, if i should stick it out or what.... Please help me! I know that this isn't really very important to you but I just need someones opinion. Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): all right, my parents did find out that i have had relationships and the talk it didnt go well. but ive met so many nice guys and its hard for me to stop dating even though i have to wait till im 16 (im 13).and right now im dating an 8th grader that i met at my friends b-day party yesterday and he is my official first boyfriend. i cant go to the skating rink like everybody eles and hang out wid him there cuz my parents dont think i deserve it cuz of my grades so i dont know what to do. its really not fair cuz everybody has cell phones and can accually go on dates by them selves and can have even just a guy (not a boyfriend) at thier house and hang out but im not allowed to do anything like that.....MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!tell me what to do ill lie to my parents if i have to just tell me what to say im a really good ier!!! i really like this guy and i want to have a long relationship with him so give me some first boyfriend advise to!!!!PLEASE!!!
A reader, natasha , writes (28 February 2005): explain to your parents how u feel and tell them you are sorry u have went behind their back but u have strong feelings for him then maybe u can invite your boyfriend to meet you parents. i would strongly advise you not to be sneaking out during the night this could be dangerous and nobody would no were and why u went out that night. be carefull and make sure u tell someone were u are going at all times. your parents would feel more betrade by u sneakin behind the back a even putting ure self in danger. i am sure ure parents would understand if the feelings you have for thhis boy are real good luck and be safe xnatashax
...............................
A reader, Emma, writes (22 February 2005): Hello,Your in a very akward position, your trying to do the right thing by your parents and your boyfriend but you are stuck in the middle. Maybe if you sat down and spoke to your parents about why they feel you shouldnt date. Aslo put your point across and explain to them that you feel that you are mature enough to do so, and try to get them to understand your points of veiw as well as you understand theirs.If you do talk to them, do not mention that you are having sex as no parent likes to think of their child in that way, mention that you have met someone and that you like them but nothing more then that. Explain to them that he has asked you out for an evening, but you decided that you would like to ask their permission. If it makes them feel better, ask them if they would like to meet your "date" so they can get to know him before you go out. Tell your boyfriend what you have planned. He sounds like he is willing to do anything for you, and if he wants to be with you then you need to give it a go.Your first will always mean something to you my dear, but it may not always work out between you, yet I hope that it all works out for you and that you and your boyfriend can be together without all the sneaking around, because if your parents catch you then they will not trust you for a long time.
...............................
A reader, Paul, writes (22 February 2005): This isn't a reply I relish writing because ordinarily this isn't an issue one would touch with a barge-pole. But since no-one else has replied...I don't believe that you can live your life by other people's rules, and that when your parents are no longer responsible for you (when you hit 18) THEN you have the right to do as you wish. Until that time, however, your parents still have a significant say over what goes on in your life. Whether you agree with their views or not, you have to respect them. Whilst their restrictions may seem unfair to you, I'm sure that they hold your welfare very close to their heart, and I'm sure they would be desperately hurt and let down if you were to go against them.Taking responsibility for oneself is something that should be encouraged, however, and is clearly something that you feel you are ready to do. But don't underestimate the size of your task. I would still say that the ultimate choice is yours, but that whatever you decide is the best course of action, you have to be aware of the effects of your actions on the other people around you, and accept fully the consequences whichever way it goes. I would advise you to talk to your parents about this boy, but under no circumstances even hint that you may have been intimate with him - at this stage that can only cause everyone a lot of pain. What's done is done. You would be better to pursue a peaceful resolution and seek your parents permission to see this boy. If he's a good lad, then perhaps by introducing him to your parents they will grow to like him. What they will not like is a boy who they think is just wanting to get their little girl into bed. If you like this boy as much as you say, then introduce him to your parents - it's the best course of action short of stopping seeing him.
...............................
|
