A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone on Dear CupidI have a dilemma about my friendship with my flatmate.I'll begin at the beginning. When my flatmate (my best friend from university) and I moved into our place a year ago, my mother helped us out with bills and the started costs (the admin costs, deposit, moving vans etc.) by loaning me a sum of money. Now my flatmate and I decided to split all bills right down the middle and for the first few months, I had to use the remainder of the loan from my mother to pay bills as we were finding it difficult to find work.A year later and my flatmate now has a very good job with extremely good pay. It is only till the end of the year (possibly sooner) and she is away all week and only comes back at weekends.Now my financial situation is absolutely dire right now plus my partner has moved in so between us we have next to no money. However, my flatmate is raking it in and owes me. Yet she doesn't quite seem to have the sense of urgency in paying me back. She's coming back this evening for the weekend and I really need to talk to her about her paying me back the money. My problem is I don't know how to approach it without it ruining the weekend. A few weeks ago I asked her for money but she kicked up such a fuss I'm worried she'll do it again.Any ideas?!
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best friend, flatmate, money, moved in, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Well how selfish is your frined, not a proper friend if she is happy to see you struggling while she is raking it in knowing she owes you money. All you can do is sit her down and ask her and explain to her that you wouldn't ask her if you weren't so desperate and thought she couldn't afford it when she clearly can. I do not know why she would kick up a fuss about it, she should be happy to pay you back what she owes you. I would seriously consider your friendship with her if I was you! Hope you get something out of her, good luck!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE -
Ok so my flatmate has now lost her job as the companies money has dried up which has also meant she has not been paid for the last 4 weeks.
So she only has £100 left but with a fair amount waiting to come in! Unfortunately I kinda need the money sooner rather than later.
So good answer RCN but now she's kinda not in the best financial situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate:
Ok apparently her contract has just ended suddenly as the money for the job has dried up so she is no longer working (although they're hoping it will pick up again soon)
But she's telling me she only has £100 left in her bank account?!
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 Just let her know that you two had a contract that you are to pay half, and for that period you were paying both halves, so you need that money. I would mention that you wouldn't ask if she wasn't in a financial position to pay, but knowing that she is, you feel it's okay to bring up her paying you back, because if the situations were reverse, you'd expect her to do the same.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (5 August 2011):
 Did you make a contract on paper with both of you signing that she'll pay you back within a certain time? You should have and if she makes a fit about it, then let her cause it's your money and she has no right to mooch off of you. If she can't pay it back or won't, then you'll just have to take it as a lesson to never loan money unless you make a contract/deal.
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