A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My fist real love contacted me last year and I am torn over what to do. We dated in high school and then he left to join the airforce. I thought we would always get back together, but I got pregnant and married the baby's father. He met someone and married. I stayed in a very unhappy marriage until the kids were grown, occassionally meeting the first love for a rendezvous when he was in town. I made it very clear to him that when my kids were grown I would divorce my husband, which I did. He also left his wife, but he met and married someone else. Anyway, he has now contacted me. I am remarried and he is still married to his second wife, but I feel a very strong connection to him. He says he just wants to be friends but I am torn. He contacted me and I beleive we are destined to be together (by the way, my son also joined the airforce and lives in the same town as first love - fate or what?). His wife knows he communicates with me and she told him to stop all contact, which he did. I miss him greatly and I believe we should be togehter. I don't want to hurt my husband or my first love's marriage, but I believe fate is bringing us together. How should I pursue this so no one gets hurt?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): High school sweathearts..crazy about each other! We had 1 child and divorced at 24. I wanted the divorce and he grieved very long. He got back with me a few times, I was to young and stupid to realize what I had. I am 47 have a boyfriend for 9 years,I could never get over this so I couldn't marry, then I did for security just this year because everyone says move on including my counsler! My ex and I had special jokes and memories that can never be replace in life, I am sure he knows this and thinks about me but his wife won't let him talk to me. Is there ever ever a chance to get back together? They seem happily married? He does not ask my daughter about me at all. I called him up crying and apoligized for all I did to him last october, he said accepted. He still does'nt tale to me..will someone help?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): I don't know if u are still in this situation. I just found this site. I am going to try to condense as much as possible.My first love, after 30 years, found and contacted me. We dated for 3 years. He is 2 years younger than me, and due to age, etc. he ended up dating the person who is is wife. Before she when to college, she got pregnant.(I feel on purpose, but he claims not). He told her many times during their marriage that if she had not gotten pregnant, they would not have gotten married. Several times during their marriage, he was doubtful about staying married. I had in the meantime married a not so great person, who I am now divorced from. Except for my 2 kids, wasted 20+ years of my life.He apparently had reached a point to accept his marriage as it is, even if there is no real affection or passion.A few months ago, he searched for me. The only ph. number that he could find was still assigned to my ex. One of the stepkids gave him my number.Right before he contacted me, I had continual thoughts of him, out of the blue. I thought of him on and off during the years, but never acted on it, as did he.When he contacted me, it was like going back in time. Like we were never apart. We talked for over a month after having our first meeting. We finally decided to get together physically. The guilts kicked in, and he has been fluctuating between wanting to be with me and trying listen to his conscious. I want to be with him more than anything. I tell myself to give up, yet I can't. I am trying to hang in there until I see how this will turn out. I have to believe that there is a reason for this.I was cheated on during my mattiage.Never thought I would be in this positon. If you are meant to be with him it will happen. Just know that you will be in for a very bumpy ride. Someone will get hurt, but all of us recover. Didn't you say that you are divorced? Staying with someone when you are no longer in love is just as bad. They could be with someone else. I don't believe that one should just divorce on a whim. Some people, like myself and my ex, should have never married.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Life is too short. Go for it and wish you the best. Someone will get hurt, but life goes on and you deserve to be happy. Follow your heart.
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A
female
reader, Geeo  +, writes (21 April 2008):
The truth is someone is going to get hurt as that's life. I always say follow your heart and not your head ,but in your case if your first love wanted you both to reunite then he wouldn't have married after he divorced his first wife he would have waited for you.
If you love your husband then surely you can't do this to him stick with him and be happy and let your first love get on with his own life and marriage and you get on with yours and forget about him.
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