A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi... I am a 21 year old girl nursing a broken heart. I've done many stupid things during the past year. And now I wish none of them happened. I wish I could change things but I know there's no point of wishing that, and I can't change life or other people. I met a guy February of last year, 2012. I didn't even notice him at first but he noticed me and we met in quite a sweet way. Then I lost my virginity to him. I loved him so much. I know he loved me too. But the thing is, he is the kind of guy who can't stay with one girl. He cheated on me once and apologised and he was guilty for it and I forgave him because he told me the truth. But that spoiled things for us. And then I got a new job and he was so happy for me. Then he started suspecting that I was getting friendly with a guy at my workplace. By this time our relationship was on the rocks. And I ended it a few days after our one year anniversary. Ending the relationship made me scared. I had lost the sense of security I had when I was with him. In a way, he loved me and protected me, though he didn't respect me in front of others, our friends. I started getting close to another boy at the gym a week or two after I ended my relationship with the first one. My first guy found out about this and he was very upset. He called me and cried and told me he loved me. And got angry and yelled at me. He called my mom and told her to look out for me, and that I was going to get into trouble. The new relationship went on for four months. Then we broke up. My parents were not happy with him. We slept together once but that day, the first thing that came into my mind was the time I slept with my ex. I was broken hearted and started crying. I was very sad. Now I don't have both guys. But I miss the first one. I know he wasn't right for me. But I feel like I'll never get over him. I still love him, I think. I always remember the little things about him and feel sad. Like how when I got kicked off my first job, he stayed up with me and talked with me on the phone until 3 in the morning making me feel better. We broke up six months ago. I feel sad cos he had always been there for me when I needed. He just didn't really respect anyone and was a bit too big headed. :( But I still love him so much. :( I'm never going to wait for him, but even in ten years time, if he fixed his character a bit and came to me, I would accept him. I want the best for him and I care for him a lot. I don't know how he feels about me now though. I love him. :( I'm trying to go abroad soon. That's the hardest thing for me to do. I remember him always. What can I do? He probably doesn't care so much and has probably recovered and also probably has a million girlfriends by now. But I will never get over it the way he can. :( Please help me. I want to forget him but sometimes I feel like I don't want to forget him. What can I do? How can I move on? I have messed up my life so much. The memories of the last two years are killing me. I wish things had turned out differently. :(
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anniversary, broke up, cheated on me, lost my virginity, move on, my ex, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (12 December 2013):
 Stop making the ex to be your saviour and remember the relationship was problematic or you would never have ended it. I don't doubt that you love him and want to give this relationship another shot.
Are you connected to him on facebook? If so you can just drop him a friendly message, nothing loaded about getting back and see what is going on. You could also consider just starting off as friends.
You could always just send him a message for Christmas.
Goodluck
A
female
reader, tendersmile  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 make peace with the reality
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