A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Back in December my first love broke my heart. I didn't want to date for a long time. But, I met this boy in school and automatically fell for him. We only dated for little over a month but were together every waking second. Once we broke up we talked but never kissed or anything in that manner. About two weeks later he came to see me and he was saying how much he missed me and we ended up having sex. He then tells me he doesn't want to get back with me. We basically acted as if we were together but no official. Some days he would tell me he wanted to get back then some days he didn't. He leaves for boot camp in November and I just don't know what I'm going to do. We stopped talking for about 2 weeks because he had been such a jerk to me. Last night however he showed up to my house with a couple of people. He followed me around like a lost puppy dog. We ended up having sex and he spent the night with me. He was being so sweet. He was suppose to call me today and he never did. I think he just played me again. He doesn't want me to even be around other boys but he can have sex with any girl he wants. I want to let go but I really still want to be friends because we are so close and now very much about each other. What should I do ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): i have the same dilemma like you.... but me and my ex have decided just recently to cut everything between the two of us... mine is worst, we still had sex even if he already ahs a GF,,, i know its ahrd to lose someone we dearly love, but for me i'd rather get hurt now than to suffer with the consequences in the future... be strong, you're still young... someone deserves your love and i know someone will come to love you mmore than what your ex had... :)
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (27 August 2008):
 Well, at least you're happy.
Hopefully he'll be a nice boyfriend to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we finally got back together ! i could not be happier.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso me and him are "talking" again. things are going pretty good actually. he's been treating me like a princess. we have our little fights, but their never a big deal. he tells me that we will get back together soon. he just has to get some things straightened out in his life. he just enlisted in the marine corps a few days ago and he leaves in november for boot camp. he tells me very often that he wants to get back together. but, he's afraid that while he is gone that i will not be faithful. so how do i prove to him that i will and get him back ?
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female
reader, xemily06x  +, writes (3 August 2008):
Hi..ive been in a very similar situation to you...Whenever my ex wanted me, i let him have me because i loved him! and would have done anything to spent time with him...in the end, when he got with another girl ( within two weeks of us last having sex)...it hurt me all the more than the initial breakup. i was heartbroken!! I was havin sex with the guy i loved...and he was just havin sex with me cause i was there. Its so hard to not speak to someone everyday, to cut them out of your life when they are so important to you! i still find myself chattin to him after a year of being apart!!Theres so many more guys out there! Love is blind...but you gotta do whats best for you. its not easy...trust! xxxx
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 JUST DO IT DARLING YOU DON'T STOP HURTING YOURSELF IF YOU GO ONMAKE FRIENDSPRACTISE SPORTSBE WITH YOUR FAMILYHAVE GOES WITH ANOTHER GUY YOUR NOT SO INVOLVED IF U CANT DO WITHOUT RESLATIONSHIPS BUT DO NOT LET HIM HURT YOU SO MEANGOOD LUCK XXXXOOO KEEP US INFORMED
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): It depends who broke up with who? based off of the question it doesn't sound like you broke up with him, so if he broke up with you and you still have feeling for him.........it doesn't matter how you let go. You should just do it because if you don't he eventually will and you'll be the one hurting in the end. When you do it he'll probably get mad but if he truly cares for you he'll come back and it will probably be when you've moved on. But for as long as you'll hang on he'll string you a long. It's not that he doesn't care. You two are probably not on the same page as far a needs and wants.
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female
reader, Infidel7 +, writes (2 August 2008):
It depends who broke up with who? based off of the question it doesn't sound like you broke up with him, so if he broke up with you and you still have feeling for him.........it doesn't matter how you let go. You should just do it because if you don't he eventually will and you'll be the one hurting in the end. When you do it he'll probably get mad but if he truly cares for you he'll come back and it will probably be when you've moved on. But for as long as you'll hang on he'll string you a long. It's not that he doesn't care. You two are probably not on the same page as far a needs and wants.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Honey you are far too young to be having sex in the first place. He is tugging on your heart strings, by playing with your emotions. He has made it clear, he does not want a relationshop with you and that he wants to have his cake and eat it with you and other girls.
Show some self respect and kick this silly little boy to the kerb. He is likely to give you a STD, if you carry on sleeping with him. Where are your parents, when you guys have sex at your house? If you was my daughter and I found out you was doing this sort of thing under my roof. I would report this guy and have him arrested for statutory rape.
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (2 August 2008):
You think he's just playing you? You're his violing and he's scratching your strings just for fun!
He's obviously using you for sex, nothing more. He KNOWS you have lingering feelings for him and he's toying with those feelings so he can satisfy his little urges. He probably sees you as just an object he can have sex with whenever he wants, he just has to act like he's made of sugar with cherry on top. He's a two-faced jerk that you should just stop seeing. If you think he has sex with you because he still loves you, you're so wrong.
You even said so yourself. He has sex with other girls. If he loved you so much, why would he give himself to other girls and not even make it official with you? He wants his cake and eat it too, and it's apparently working very fine because you let him.
Now, it's good that you notice that you just want to get over him, but you can't do it with you seeing him constantly. CUT OFF ANY CONTACT WITH HIM, otherwise you'll NEVER get over this guy and he will keep on playing you like a yo-yo. You have to do this.
Also, STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM EVERY TIME HE ASKS. What happened to your self-respect and boundaries? You can easily tell him to "NO" every time he asks you for sex, but you still give in to him. It's not very hard. It's a one syllable word, and you shouldn't care on displeasing him because he really doesn't care about you.
After you have cut all contact from him, start doing some activities that will keep your mind off of him. Start a hobby, for example. You could search the internet for one if you can't think of one. You could also start doing sports or one sport you have always wanted to do. Or, you could also start hanging more with your friends. I recommend the latter more because they will surely keep you entertained and thus your mind off this jerk.
After a while, when you have gotten over completely from him, you could start a friendship if you want with him. Do it when you know you don't have feelings for him anymore because then you will fall back into the problem you have now.
Now good luck, and remember that the first step is to cut complete contact from him.
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