A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got involved with a female/lesbian. It has only been 2 weeks and we just spent our first weekend together and we had intimacy. This happened just last weekend, and now I kind of feel that things are a little different between us; maybe it's just me. I just cant understand much of this lesbian relationship concept. This is my first relationship and I don't know how to handle things I guess. I always texted her anytime and she responds very quickly; but I just texted her and she doesn't respond. I might be overreacting; but in any case can anybody tell me if I jump into this too soon or if maybe the fact that we have intimacy too soon made her back off... I don't know.. I just can't stop thinking about her; and I am so afraid to fall in love with her, and she might not feel the same way. Fear of rejection or failure is just going through my mind right now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): Hi,
Slowing down is a very good idea. Sometimes I think that the best things are what you don't get too soon. You've only known her for two weeks or so. You should give her space and then be her friend then her lover, but build things up (first base, second base etc.). Don't scare her off or smother her with very passionate text messages/emails. Let her get back in touch with you. It is very new to you and you need to give yourself some time and try not to over-analyse things. I assume she has some experience so she may help you find the right pace. Good luck!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Whoa...slow down here! If you were just together this past weekend, and it's Monday, give it some time! Take it easy, and don't get obsessive, clingy, anxious, or overanalytical.
You must understand, there is more happening inside you than just your relationship with this woman. This is your first lesbian encounter. Right now, your world just got rocked. This has more significance than it normally would for you, but she's not seeing it this way.
First, what "lesbian relationship concept" is any different than any other person you fall in love with? Love is love. In the end, it's simply you and her. You both felt like getting together, and that's what it was. You both expressed your feelings for and attraction to each other. No matter how much your world is rocked now, treat her and look at her as simply the woman you fell for. The rest comes naturally. There's no "concept" to figure out. It's just you and her.
Give it a couple of days or so, and then CALL her and ask her out again. Texting is not a good idea for a relationship that's just budding.
As far as falling in love with her, don't get ahead of yourself. Let it grow slowly. Savor your time with her and don't be mentally planning adjacent burial plots together just yet.
You haven't given her time to not seem as interested. Let her initiate texting sometimes. When you call her maybe Wednesday or so, just ask her out again. Keep it light and build anticipation.
When you two are together, don't overthink, overanalyze, she's a person. In the end, gay or straight, lesbian, bisexual, it's two people connecting, and that is universal. If this doesn't work out, don't sweat it. It isn't the end of the world. But I think you're not at that point yet where you need to worry. But if it does happen, then be confident that you connected with another woman, and that means that you are desirable.
Remember, break down all the unnecessary thinking. It's just you and her. Good luck to you both, and best wishes! Don't text. Call. :)
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