A
female
age
41-50,
*hallenged
writes:I am in my second marriage of 2 years. My first marriage ended because I could no longer trust my ex-husband after a series of his repeated lies about numerous things - many involving money.I have caught my second husband in 3 "major" lies. The first lie involved his looking at a "booty call" website. The second lie involved his meeting some female friends from high school for dinner (he was out of town). The third lie involved him stating that he was no longer communicating with a friend.In all three instances he choose to lie instead of telling the truth, but had to confess his lie when I confronted him with what I knew. We have been in therapy for several months now. He says he lies to avoid making me angry. The therapist tells him that he can't lie. He has to be honest with me. Seriously? I could have told him that!Anyway, now I feel like he is beginning to lie to me about money. But, I have no proof of this. It could be just because I no longer feel I can trust him. This makes me very sad because this is my second marriage. What are your thoughts on this marriage? Do you think my husband is a liar and can not be trusted. I am very upset by all of this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): After 2 marriages, it is the time you do some introspection as well. But small lies on money is ok to be excused with humar. As long as he is not having any other women in life, things can be sorted out.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (1 September 2011):
 Hi,I agree with basschick 100%. Your husband wouldn't have to worry about hurting you if he wasn't doing anything wrong. Why lie in the first place, right? You did the right thing doing therapy with him, but if that hasn't help or change him I don't see whatelse can?Don't think too much about having failed in 2 marriages. It's not your fault. You just didn't meet the right person yet. You are very young and have a whole future ahead. You don't deserve to feel this way, wondering if your husband is telling you the truth or being honest with you. It's not only hurtful, but exhausting living with doubts everyday. It's never too late to find happiness and only you can decide how you want to live your life. I hope you feel better and make the right decision. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 Your husband lies to avoid hurting you. Well here's a news flash if he wasn't sneaking around behind your back with other women he wouldn't have to worry about hurting you or lying. The truth is he's living a double life. He likes the security of having a wife but truly he is not committed to your marriage. If therapy has failed it's probably time to see a divorce lawyer.
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