A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend/ fiance of 2 years has changed lately her girlfriend who is single and is man crazy is always wanting my fiance to go out and drink with her just found out that she is smoking pot again and want my fiance to get high with her. When ever I speak my mind about her gf she gets mad and defensive.her gf is a real slob and try to get guys buy giving them oral sex. My fiance and I will be out to diner on a fri or sat night and they will be texting each other a dozen times back and fourth if I show my discontent my gf says that she doesnt know that were out to diner. Theres been times that me and my fiance are hanging out and her gf calls her to go do something and she ditches me and goes out with her. When I say something the next day my fiance gets all mad . When ever shes in a jam with money she comes to me .if she goes back to smoking pot im gonna break it off with her my fiance says that I wouldnt but I would . I feel as thoe my fiance wants the benifits of a serious relationship but thats it . Am I reading between the lines right other insight would be appriciated
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Gotta agree with Dirtball, a lot of women have "those" friends and men usually hate "those" friends :p the best thing to do is communicate your feelings, however, I suggest you don't give her ultimatums because that can drive wedges between a couple and may make her feel as if you're being too controlling or demanding. Ask her how'd she like the same treatment. Don't think she'd like being ditched for a friend. Sometimes, we have to look at things from another's perspective to understand their thoughts/reactions. If she truly loves you, she will modify her behavior though sorry, doesn't mean she'll leave her friend. She should be able to plan days that are just for you two uninterupted, and days with friends or whatever. If you guys can't compromise, the road you're on will be extremely bumpy.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Well, you have to trust your fiance to do right by you, however you can talk about the things that are upsetting you. It's not cool for her to ditch you. It's not cool for her to be texting while you're on a date. Just because "her friend doesn't know" doesn't mean she can't text back, "I'm sorry, I'm on a date right now. I'll text you back later."
You two need to sit down and talk this out. YOu have valid concerns that you can't let her ignore. She needs to know that you're serious and that if she's not willing to at least discuss this, then obviously you don't mean much to her.
Just because her friend is doing all this crap doesn't mean she will. Tell her what you're feeling and why. How she responds will determine what you should do going forward.
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