| A
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Why would my fiancee of 3yrs txt me and say he dont do expainations when i asked him to explain why he hadnt contacted me in 12hrs, am i right in thinking he was messing around on me
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 Oh Dear,
just goes to show, there are always 2 sides to every story.
And we can so easily take sides, without the facts.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): His past is his past. How do you know he`s not upfront about it? I think you are an all out control freak and thats why he disappears on you. Just like any future ones will too. Get a hold of yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): I am the person who supposedly walked out. There is no mention about how she brought our son and abandoned him whilst i was at work. How she`s addicted to chatroom flirting. How she always brings up my past and boasts about her own. Well gilly39, stop being selective about what you say. As i got into bed,yet again you called me david. my name is paul.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi anon female how dare you say i must look at myself,you dont know anything about me so unless you can answer me with sensible advice dont give me none,as for trust thats always been an issue as from day one he`s never been upfront about his past where i told him basically everything about me and my past,hid nothing even now i can account for every movement i make,but he makes a big song and dance about where he`s been why when he aint got nowt to hide,i love my fiancee very much and want to trust him 100% but he makes it very hard for us both and if he feels he cant be truthful maybe he should consider moving on
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfor all you agonys whom have hung me already without knowing the facts just saying thanxs to you all,elsie thanx for trying to understand and asking for more info,everything was great between us and he disappeared when i was asleep,dont know what time.yes i rang him only to learn his fone was off and the house fone i rang 10 times and got no reply,it was at 10:30pm when he switched is fone on he then replied to my txt saying he dont do explinations,it was then i felt hurt and angry and got really upset at his attitude towards me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Cheats have their storys sorted out before they do it.Personaly i think you need to look at yourself,and be honest,otherwise his next disappearing act may be for good....Have you ever cheated on him? have you ever been cheated on? Why do you assume he`s cheating?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Tell ya what gal, if ya dont ease up on your suspicious oneself, you will drive any man away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): I doubt he was cheating. I think if he was he would have told you some cock and bull story right away. The most important thing is to ask yourself why you dont trust him. If you dont trust him then you shouldnt really be with him. Is it just him alone you dont trust or are you likely to be like that with anyone you are with?
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A
female
reader, lucky lynne  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 It might not be what you want to hear,but you dont trust him,and theres every chance he`s fed up with you. People who dont trust are usualy the ones who are most likely to mess around. Its so easy to believe that because you would,that he would too. You should break it off. If you dont you will only drive him away anyway.You will feel worse then because he will do what you have expected.No matter what you decide,its going nowhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): He might of been rebeling against you. Having no trust can make some1 very hard to be with when you have to xplane what u are doing and where uve been all the time.He could have been dead or unconscious,yet the first thing u think of is he`s messin around. He may come to his senses and disappear 4 good next time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): The lack of trust you have could be overbearing,so get a grip.he probably needed to breath.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): It sounds like he was probably upset with you. He was probably nowhere important and just wants you to stew.It seems you have no trust anyway,so it may be better to call it a day.If he disappeared for so many hours and was playing around,then he`d have built up his alibis and had an explanation.
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A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (18 April 2007):
 you need to give a few more details. was he unavailable?did you call?its only twelve hrs so maybe he feels claustropic and angry that he needs to explain his every move?
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 Messing around? That's hard to tell. But I CAN tell you this. Solid relationships are based on trust, and it seems to me that trust is a scarce commodity in your relationship right now. He doesn't trust you enough to tell you where he's been, and you don't trust him enough to assume that he has been behaving himself.
I'd be VERY worried about your prospects for a successful marriage at this point. Whether he's cheating or not is irrelevant.
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