A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a married women of 7 years. i have two children. Having problems in my marriage - in the bedroom department. I would rather go to sleep than have sex. I will avoid any form of physical contact (hugs, kisses etc)just so I don't have to say no to my husband again. What can I / we do to fix this? I still love my husband. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): hi, well i was in that situation once i felt he didn't love he never showed any love kisses hugs or affection towards me unless he wanted sex, i though there was something wrong with me but eventually i decided this when my children leave home do i want to be with person? and the answer was NO!! we had nothing in common at all, we wanted different things out of life so in the end i left him and now my sex life is wonderful!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): That happened to me too and I started to learn it's a lot more common than people think because it's hard to admit we feel this way. We had two young kids too and I was always so tired I just wanted to go to sleep. Also there was always so much on my mind that romance didn't seem at all important. This went away very gradually as our kids got older, my sex drive increased again. But I realize now that what the poster said about really examining your feelings is right, it took work for me to feel "in love" with him, we just were never quite right for each other but have stuck it out and developed companionship for the sake of having a happy family. Honestly I don't know if it's been worth it or not, after 15 years, because as my sex drive has gone up again I've started wishing to be with other people, though I never would cheat. It's just a feeling of emptiness I don't know what to do with. But if you force yourself to get into it, your hubby will appreciate it and start giving you more loving attention, it's like a cycle that you have to start that feeds on itself. Even if you don't feel like it, your relationship will be happier over all if you pretend at first, and eventually you'll start to feel it again, though it might always be up and down.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Is it possible that you are a bit depressed or have a really low sex drive? I have heard this is more common in women than we realize that they just lose the desire for sex. The first thing I would do, is get a physical, and talk to your doctor about your symptoms, your stress, whether or not you are feeling depressed or anxious, and that your sex drive is non-existant in spite of loving your husband. Sometimes the wrong birth control pill can diminish you libido....so get yourself a check up and go from there.
...............................
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (18 April 2007):
 The obvious question. WHY?
Sounds to me like you've got a real problem here, lady. Married seven years and you're tired of the bedroom scene already? That's just not right. Which raises the question, WHY.
If it's something that involves both you and your husband, I urge the two of you to seek appropriate counseling together. NOW. If it's just you, talk it out with your doctor or other counselor ... someone who can help you get through this problem.
But get outside help. It's just not right for two married people who love each other not to want to express that love physically.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Hey, That happened to me. I'd wait for my husband to fall on the couch and sneak off to bed. Sometimes he would wake me up or do the half-asleep shag. I hated it despite the fact I felt something for him still, mainly because of our history. However when it got down to brass tacks I realised I didn't love him like being in love as husband and wife, I loved him because of our history and time together and our child together. I went totally off sex for 18 months, never touched him, the inevitable happened and he cheated on me. I didn't find this out until we divorced. I felt humiliated but glad I didn't do my wifely duty all that time. Really think why you are with him? If sex is like making a cup of tea then its wrong and you should approach him and ask him what he thinks is going on etc between you and him and go from there. I am not saying he is cheating, he probably really wants you but doesn't know why or what is going on? You need to have a night alone to discuss it.
...............................
|
