A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi allI am in a difficult situation. I have been with my GF for 3 years, we have been engaged for 1. We have a great relationship and planning wedding for the next 6 months. I noticed she was acting strangely a few weeks ago, more attached to her phone and not really talking much with me. She actually approached me and said that she had at some point in our relationship cheated To which I had forgiven her. however, things were still not quite right in my head and I decided to check her phone and came across messages with another guy and she had sent photos in underwear to him. I confronted this and she said it meant nothing and wanted someone to say she was hot.I have forgiven her again for this, but now she seems to want to spend less time together, wanting own space. I keep thinking in my head that there is something still going on but am not sure what to do
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (2 July 2023):
 You know you have a gut instinct for good reason, don't you? It's there to tell you when something is wrong and to protect you - IF YOU LISTEN TO IT.
In your shoes I would call off the engagement and see if your girlfriend steps up or walks away. Heartbreaking as it will be, it will hurt even more the longer you leave it.
My own gut instinct is that she is pushing you to see how much of a door mat you will be. Show her you have a back bone.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 July 2023):
 "I have forgiven her again for this, but now she seems to want to spend less time together, wanting own space."
I think you need to get your ring back and end this relationship.
She thinks you are a moron. You already forgave cheating once and she CHOSE to send "smexy" pics to another dude?
She doesn't respect you. If she was really remorseful she wouldn't have done this.
She is MAD at you for catching her again.
Unless you are totally OK with her doing this (and it doesn't sound like you are) - you need to walk away, because you have only seen the tip of the iceberg of her DISRESPECT for you.
Why are you wasting your time on this woman?
She isn't into you anymore. You are convenient to be with for whatever reason.
I think you know this already.
honey, you can do SO MUCH BETTER than this woman.
Forgiving her is fine, but for her to pretend it's OK to do is not.
Don't fool yourself and think getting married will make her faithful. If she doesn't respect you now, she won't once that ring is on her finger.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2023): It does not matter whether something is going on now. The point is she has lost interest and if she has not cheated last week she will cheat in the future. Once someone loses interest it can only get worse not better, as time goes on that increases. Getting married to someone who is losing interest is stupid. Its no good asking her to promise this and that, she either is not wise enough to realise it or she will tell you what you want to hear and make empty promises. It is pointless.
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