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male
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*on_mattingly
writes: My fiance and I have dated for a little over a year. We love each other very much, but she does not enjoy sex. This is because she says it hurts her to have my penis inside of her. I am confused because I do not know what to do to not hurt her but to simply not have sex. We always keep trying, but it is the same result: pain with no pleasure for her. Please help me to discover a cure for this illness fast, or I might not know what to do!
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female
reader, Aunt Florence +, writes (27 August 2005):
Don,
There is a condition called Vaginismus which may be affecting your fiancee. It is uncommon, but is found in about 2% of the population. When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina will involuntarily become very tense upon attempted intercourse. Doctors cannot always figure out what causes it, but in some cases it's found in women who have been raped or otherwise sexually abused in the past.
Pelvic pain during intercourse can also be caused by a large variety of other things, including urinary tract infections, endometriosis, or other kinds of vaginal infections, not all of which are obivious. For these reasons, I must agree with the other posters and recommend that your fiancee see a (preferably female) doctor who she is very comfortable with and rule out some of these potential problems. If you are gentle and patient, and she still has pain every single time, there may be a medical reason that you can't fix with any amount of slippery stuff.
Best to you,
Aunt Florence
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2005): I do not think the problem is that your penis is too big because vaginas are made to stretch alot to accommodate childbirth and penises of many sizes. I should think the problem is a lack of vaginal lubricant causing the pain. You could try spending more time on foreplay so your fiance is properly aroused or a sythetic lubricant such as astroglide and to take things slowly.
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A
female
reader, Ann +, writes (12 August 2005):
The thing is it might be because your penis is to big. But over time it will get confortable and it will feel good for her. But what you can do and try is have her if she will is get sex toys and start from small to big. But not right after another try one for a week or two then go to the next.I know what she is talking about I had that same problem with my husband and over time it got beter. But then if that dont work she needs to go to a docter because there might be some thing wrong with her.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2005): One Man's View:
Oh no! This must hurt your freakin ego too! Ladies pay attention this man is apparently TOO BIG for his current woman. Next time leave your phone number at the end of the post as well.
Seriously, get her or you checked out. Someones genitals aren't sizing up correctly. If it is you all that sudden blood loss on arousal could be damaging as well...
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A
female
reader, xJoannex +, writes (12 August 2005):
There is a condition its where her cervix is alot lower than it should be and causes her and sometime you pain when having sex, it may be something simple that will be curred. The best thing for her to do is get her problem delt with by a professional, if she doent get this problem seen to soon it could lead to other sorts of problems. Good luck with solving your problem and i hope your fiance is ok!
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A
male
reader, pdude +, writes (12 August 2005):
Mate, you need to see a sex therapist to find a cure for her pain. Some women do have similar issues and it might be to do with her own periods or something like that.
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