A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,sorry for the long post,this is the first time asking a question, although I have been reading many posts here trying to come to terms with something that happened to me recently.I have just recently come back from Europe where I asked my FI to marry me. I had flown some of her close friends and family( her parents of course)secretly to meet us there as a suprise to celebrate. This was a big gamble of course since she could have said no.lolShe said yes to my delight.I dont think i ever saw her so happy in the year and half we have been dating.We all celebrated in a local tavern, I had a little too much to drink(courtesy of her brother and father) I felt a bit sick and excused myself in a hurry beacause I was not about to become sick amongst my future in laws. I had told them to tell my Fiance I had to go and and would see her at the hotel, since we were seperated.She had been off with her mother and girlfriends. Unfortunatley this message was never relayed.I went to the bedroom and fell asleep. A ittle later I was woken up by my Fiance and her friends coming back to our hotel room. The were laughing and sounding intoxicated, basically having fun.During the converstion I over heard them start talking about men and sex. One of her friends asked how I compared to and old lover of hers, specifically a friend of hers that she still works with.In no uncertein terms she said that her ex( the coworker) was better than me in bed only because he had a much larger penis( I am average in every sense of the word in that department)but that that she thought I was terrfic in bed and wouldnt change anything except for maybe that one thing(my penis). They all laughed at this which in turn made me feel sick to my stomach.Ufortuatley I had to urinate at this poit and got up to use the restroom. This is where they realized I was there. I said hello as I passed the hall an lets just say you could hear a pin drop.Let me say this first of all my FI is the most wondeful woman I have ever met, she is smart, supportive, intelligent,successful and honestly the sexiest most satisfying lover I have ever had the pleasure of being with. Do I care how she got that way way, sexually speaking? Not in the least. I dont care how many men she has been with. I dont ask those types of things.I try not to be jealous although I am at times when she talks about her exs( which is rare). Unless one of her exs is some psychopath or is still trying to romantically be in her life, I dont think its any of my business.But this hit me hard. I have always prided myself on being a good lover.The greater amount of pleasure she gets from our lovemaking the more manly I feel.I always keep communication open with her and I have always told her that nothing, short of adding someone else to our bedroom is taboo.Whatever she wants, any fantasy,Im there to make her happy and satisfied. I believe sex is a big part of a relationship. The next morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it. I just simply asked her if it was true if he really was better than me. She stayed quiet and said yes that it was true. Then she quickly stated that it doesn't mean anything to her, that I am a wonderful lover and that she would never stay in a relationship much less marry someone that did not satisfy her in bed.She began cry and started to tell me how the emotion she has during our lovemaking is stronger than anything she has ever felt. I saw this was upsetting her so I just stopped this converstion and told her that i just felt humiliated at the time and should not have to apologize for liking what she likes.I have not brought it up since, there is no point. I know the chances of me being the best lover she's ever had were maybe fifty percent at best just for the reason she is so incredibly attractive, she could have her pick of men , so the idea that I was better than all of them was wishful thinking at best. I have read similar posting where the man is just told to "get over it" or " sex isnt everting" but how can you not feel disappointed when someone out did you in most personal way a man can be with a woman? Its not an insecurity issue becasue she stated he was better, he gave her more plaesure sexually. How can i be insecure about something that is not speculative anymore? Also I dont believe emotion trumps physical. I have read many post here how women state that an ex of theirs was the the best sex they have ever had but but the they were terrible boyfriends and the idea of marrying them was laughable. If they have such strong negative emotions about their ex, why is the sex still remebered as being so good? Becuase it was. Theres nothing wrong with that. Ive been in relationships before that i didnt care the sex was so so because of how I felt for the person at the time, but it did not change the reality that the sex was still so so.Why is it hard for some of the people here to understand is that when a man loves a woman deeply he wants to be her "best" he wants to be her hero whether she needs saving or not. He wants to protect her, care for her, be the apple of her eye in every regard. Its not all just egotistical banter. I know I have no reason to feel threatened by this guy and this information about who her best lover is/was in no way is going to jeopordize my relationship with this woman. I wont allow it,she did nothing wrong case closed.Im going to hold onto her Forever.Its just some of these people will be in our wedding and to think they know how I have been outdone in the bedroom department makes me feel uneasy at times but they are good people and they have been very good friends to her so I know I can deal with it. I know there was no malice there when she said it to her friends ,she didnt know I was there.I was just hoping that in this setting where all her filters were off, just her and her girlfriends, it would be me that she was bragging about.Thank for reading.
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co-worker, fiance, her ex, insecure, jealous, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Not good enough  +, writes (24 January 2017):
Having has my now ex tell me that I had a virgin and she had a 'real man'
But don't worry, no one can compare to him.
27 years it stayed with me
New relationship, had a break up, she slept with a guy 6" taller, ten years younger. Full head of salt and pepper hair. Fit cop.. 9
We met again, fireworks happened and she dumped him.
I am average , and a short guy, thinning hair. I would rate a 6 as a teen and maybe an 8 now because I am successful, and very fit (6pack) by doing push-ups, crunches, planks and chin-ups, pull-ups (43 is my record, in a row).
Planks and push-ups.
Read lots by women on pleasuring
And a dirty mind
And the goal of making her eat her words.
He is her best so far.
All records are broken eventually.
Buy toys and every once in a while, when she's totally wet and you feel like you are screwing silk scarves because she's so arroused, pull out and slide in a bigger toy than you or a penis extender and proud her to orgasm. Pull it off and come where ever she wants.
Also, anal sex. She will appreciate your smaller size.
Guaranteed
Further details o all guys reading this.
The other guy has a bigger hammer and can pound bigger nails.
Who will build the house that will make her the happiest?
The one that knows what she likes. And that takes years to know.
Back to push-ups. If you really love her, you will always spend some time holding yourself off her with your stronger shoulders and back, looking into her eyes, as you slide in and upwards, keeping pressure on the upper part of her vaginal wall. Just hold it, look at her and let her know just how fucking much you desire her. Let her feel your strength.
Take your time. Pleasure her.
Remember, your penis is YOUR clitoris. It's your pleasure centre. She should be focused on pleasing your penis.
You should be focused on her clit and all of her erogenous zones.
To be blunt to the guys dating, in some ways, if you have a small dick, yet you banged and came in her, you should be happy.
That's all nature wanted you to do.
Why care if she preferred a bigger one. She got yours. Score for you. You think a guy with a big dick who finds your cum in his girlfriends pussy would be less jealous if she said he had a smaller dick?
Or be the big dick guy who can't get just regular lover making sex because he's too much work.
And never anal sex except from that last person you would want to fuck (I like big dicks up my ass, she says on Craigslist).
One tool guys that is bigger.
If you can't work around that, then get out of the race.
Clearly you are not that into her and you are looking for an excuse.
If she's naked in bed with you, at that moment, she wants you more than anyone else.
That is the truth.
So don't disappoint her by being all insecure.
That next to literally shitting the bed, is the biggest turnoff.
She likes you. She wants to fuck you. Be happy and let her know the joy she is bringing you.
Most women I find are more worried about making me cum, and are dispointed if I don't.
if she banged 10 guys you are not the smallest (he still blew his load in her and maybe her ass), and not the biggest.
Think about how shitty of a human being you must be to have the perfect dick yet this hot broad dumps you for some dweeb.
They are ex's for a reason.
A
male
reader, Not good enough +, writes (24 January 2017):
Having has my now ex tell me that I had a virgin and she had a 'real man'
But don't worry, no one can compare to him.
27 years it stayed with me
New relationship, had a break up, she slept with a guy 6" taller, ten years younger. Full head of salt and pepper hair. Fit cop.. 9
We met again, fireworks happened and she dumped him.
I am average , and a short guy, thinning hair. I would rate a 6 as a teen and maybe an 8 now because I am successful, and very fit (6pack) by doing push-ups, crunches, planks and chin-ups, pull-ups (43 is my record, in a row).
Planks and push-ups.
Read lots by women on pleasuring
And a dirty mind
And the goal of making her eat her words.
He is her best so far.
All records are broken eventually.
Buy toys and every once in a while, when she's totally wet and you feel like you are screwing silk scarves because she's so arroused, pull out and slide in a bigger toy than you or a penis extender and proud her to orgasm. Pull it off and come where ever she wants.
Also, anal sex. She will appreciate your smaller size.
Guaranteed
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A
male
reader, xtbone151x +, writes (26 June 2013):
Well I would have to feel good about myself confident and adequate when I am with a woman after hearing that there is no way I could ever feel that to be perfectly honest with you if it was me I know there's no way I can go forward and marry a woman knowing that it will come back and eat it you it will get worse as time goes by
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,Sorry i have not gotten back sooner work has ben busy and I had no idea how much goes into planning a wedding."Very confused" you had such a great post. Actually all you guys are pretty great been thinking alot about my nitally said but her ex, not in a negative way mind you, but just to figure out what my problem is. Am I really this childish? Why am i letting this bother me? I've been pondering these question for a bit now and I guess I've come to the conclusion is that Im not jealous of her ex. I even like the guy, although that little stigma pops into my mind on the few occasions we see him. He doesn't bother me and he is certainly not inappropriate around my FI. I think my problem, and I could be by myself on this one, is that I don't want to be the guy it "makes sense" to marry. I think its a train of thought that I have to shake. I know this doesn't make any sense but when someone says to me It doesn't matter he was a better lover she wants you because all your other attributes makeup for any one deficiency. It doesn't feel very good, although isn't that what we look for all our lives someone who loves us uncondtionally.. Its hard to explain without sounding ungrateful to her and all the joy she brings to my life. It's easy to feel jealous in this situation but I don't let myself go there. When I first found out his info. I would think things like. He's better than me. She loved it with him. She loves me because Im a nice guy but she fantisizes about him. If he is a better lover, he is a better man. He made my FI feel more like a woman than you, but she stays with you cause you'll be a better provider to her children. Off the deep end stuff at first. I had to put a quick stop to that BS right then and there. I know that isn't reality. She is wonderful, the best I've ever had in mostly everything (terrible cook SHHH)? That is why I don't let this thinking reflect on how I treat her. She could have anyone, a lot of people say that but its very true in her case, shes determined, motivated and ambitious. In a very bare bones way of thinking about it, I dont think she would sell herself short. All your posts are so helpful please keep them coming, especially you ladies. Your men are very lucky to have women with two feet on the ground. I know I am.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 December 2012):
 Jealousy is not about anger or love. Jealousy is an emotion totally rooted in insecurity.
You are the best and you give her the best... trust me. A woman looks at all aspects of her life and for me at least if I have to rate what's important, sex is not the top one on the list.. it's really closer to the bottom.
My husband is far from the best lover I've ever had. But he's the best thing that ever happened to me and my quality of life with him is ten times better than it's ever been. I wouldn't leave him for anything or anyone. Like I said, I left a man with no self-esteem who was a great lover for a man who has great self-esteem, is a great provider, loves me more than anyone ever has, who is affectionate and supportive and yet a lousy lover. Go figure.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 December 2012):
 Op, you are a lucky man .You love , you are loved back, and you have agreed to keep loving each other and living together the rest of your life trying your best to make each other happy. That's awesome and something you should be thankful for.
I would not tempt the Gods with my ingratitude. So yes, maybe there's a small fly in the ointment of your happiness, let's say you are 95% happy, while you'd be 100% without that episode.
95% is a lot - try not to be greedy :).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone, I really appreciate all your responses. I finally got a new computer so I have just now been able to respond.Things are still great for my FI and I althought I still think about what she said from time to time. Its crazy its like I cant talk to anyone else really about this matter because its embarrassing to a point. One of her friends that was there that night approached me in private and apologized for what had happened even though she wasn't the one that said something negative. She told me that my FI always says Im the best thing that ever happened to her and that she knows me well enough now to know thats the truth. They've been friends for years. I appreciated that but was also kind of embarrassed that this was something that was still being thought about. I love my FI so much, I think about her all the time and it always puts a smile on my face. Not sexually( well sometimes absolutley) but mostly about how she makes me feel when I sit next to her, how she smells or the way she knows all the words to most every popular song from the fifties. I really dont feel insecure just frustrated that she enjoyed someone more than me physically, which she confirmed when i asked her if what she said was true. Yes I guess its jealousy but I always thought that jealousy meant anger or resentment and I feel niether of these things. Is it wrong of weak of me to wish I was her best? I wish I could give her the world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012): I would bet it was the alcohol talking too. I know that I would never tell anyone that my guy isn't the best. Especially when you just proposed. I think honesty is important but shutting up was preferable in this situation.
My hubby wasn't the biggest guy I've ever been with either. My ex was way bigger and we had wild crazy six hour sex. Candles and hot oil massages. He pleased me in ways I still wish my hubby would. I married someone I love without a doubt. He hates being touched cause he is super crazy ticklish. I love him enough that I do my best to please him. He makes me orgasm almost every time and lots of time multiple orgasms. I don't get everything I want but I love it. We make love and we mean it so that's all that matters.
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A
male
reader, alex74 +, writes (2 November 2012):
 Welcome to my world! I know exactly how you feel and have posted a similar question on this site. Just have to swallow it down, put it aside and move on. I understand completely the desire to be her best everything, including lover.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (1 November 2012):
I agree 100% with Chigirl, this is something your future wife should not have said, whether for fun, a joke, or just being drunk. She is right that physically the sex with others might have been in some ways better, maybe more exciting or more physical, or just a newer and more impressionable experience. But what your fiance said is out of order. It also worries me that she didnt prefer to boast about you, I certainly exagerate my wife's sexual appetite when in a drunken lads situation. However my wife inadvertantly let a similar comment about an exe's size slip out in a conversation a few years ago and I certainly understand the kick in the guts it gives you. Women, being women, obviously dont usually have penises so really have no idea the torment they can cause us. Often they find it comical that guys can behave in such a neanderthal manner. But we do!You should let your fiance know that it is humiliating to be made fun of with her friends like that and that it upset you. Allow her to say sorry, and next time you have sex make sure you are super horny, youll find you will swell even more, and just once give her a firmer than normal prod so she winces and realises you are not so small! And remember, often with exes the relationship wasnt great, she wasnt relaxed or so wet, and an average penis can hurt and feel much bigger than it is. Most of my partners enjoyed orgasms on my penis, but I know they all preferred my finger and thats not much over 3 inches, so chill and remember you have a get out of jail card for the next time you say something dumb that she doesnt like!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 November 2012):
 I think you need to talk to your future wife about boundaries. If it is true that her ex was better in bed, fine. But don't go around bragging about it. Don't talk about your penis size behind your back and make jokes out of it, or have a laugh at your expence. That is mean and disrespectful. Doesn't matter if it is true or not true, doesn't matter if she loves you the most, you simply do not go around telling your girlfriend jokes about your penis size, and have a laugh at it.
If she is ever asked such a thing again she ought to show her respect to your relationship (and to her marriage once married) and not say such belittling things. She ought to honour her relationship, not ridicule it. Not point out flaws about you, or about her relationship.
Like they say, don't do your dirty laundry out in public, it is completely disrespectful. If she needs to talk about intimate details concerning your physice, she ought to talk to you about it, or perhaps a close friend in PRIVATE. Not shout it out at a drunken night out in a hotel corridor where everyone and anyone can hear her. And then to laugh about it... Ask her how she would feel if you said something similar to your friends, maybe bragged to your friends about how you've had "a tighter p%ssy" before and how much better than was, although you "wouldn't change a thing about your fiance because she's great in her own ways".
"I know there was no malice there when she said it to her friends ,she didnt know I was there.I was just hoping that in this setting where all her filters were off, just her and her girlfriends, it would be me that she was bragging about."
I think that is what everyone would want, and I think you need to tell her this. Make it clear that this is what it is all about: what she says about you behind your back. Is she bragging about you, or is she bragging about other men.... That is the clue to all of this. And that will also be how she portrays her relationship. She needs to think about the way she portrays her relationship to others, as a good girlfriend/wife she would brag about you, not other men. But if, when alone with her friends, she wants to gush about other men.... then that says something about her level of commitment to you. Tell her this. Tell her that if she is committed to you, then she will not talk about you or her relationship in a manner that puts it down (or ranges it second to anyone else).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): The OP is not asking whether his fiance really loves him and wants to marry him or not. He is trying to cope with the knowledge that she liked intercourse better with someone else.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): You can actually change the size of your unit if you're willing to put in the time doing stretching exercises and you're diligent about it. If you take what she said at face value, it's the only thing you need to change to be "number one".There is a fair amount of misinformation about Penis Exercising (PE) on the internet, so spend some time researching it before you start. Also, it does work, but the gains for most men are relatively modest. You probably won't go from being average to "Oh my God it's huge!", but you can make a significant change.My best guess is that if you do stick with PE for a year or two and make some significant gains, the whole topic will gradually lose it's appeal. You tend to develop a more realistic view of what more size can and can't do. It's not magic.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2012):
FWIW... I left a man who was an awesome lover but had no self-esteem for a lousy lover with great self esteem who loves me like no tomorrow.
It's not about a penis... gawd... we marry MEN we love...
I'd marry him even if he was impotent.
her words were badly spoken.... but the truth is she loves you and wants to marry YOU.... not someone else.
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (31 October 2012):
My ex has a larger penis than my husband. I do vaguely remember that sex was better - that feeling of being fulled so completely. But it was a long time ago, and the memory has already faded. But no way would I ever trade or risk my relationship with my husband for sex with the ex. It doesn't make me think less of my husband. His penis is the size that he was meant to have, he has no control over it. Do I maybe wish that his penis was bigger? Sure, why not? But doesn't mean that it is an issue for me. Sex with him is still great. It's a different feeling, but still great.
I can understand the desire to be the best compared to the exes, but it isn't realistic when it comes to something that you can't control - penis size. And she said that the sex is great. The difference between you and her ex, the important difference, is that she thinks you are suitable to be her husband, not him. And that could be for a million other reasons that you are better than him.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (31 October 2012):
You are her best...she tried to express that the next morning.
Someone can be great in bed and not be a great lover. He may have a bigger penis, but, she never connected with him emotionally in the same way she has with you. Deeper feelings of intimacy win out over larger penis.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have to admit I was not expecting such well thought out and intelligent answers here on this site but maybe that is just my own inexperience with deardupid. Thank you all for your input by I feel I have not expressed myself correctly.I dont believe my FI was being cruel with her statement about her ex. I think this was just "girl talk" just like I have engaged in "guy talk" at the bar before, usually half of it is BS anyway. Im over her comments even though I thought it was disrespectful at the time.I really have to say that Im not insecure about my penis or this other man really ( hes actually a nice guy) I guess Im just jealous of the way he made her feel.I think love making is a completely different category as as opposed to being very smart,good looks,being good at math etc.Thats why it wouldnt really bother me knowing some guy was a faster runner or a better fighter, its pretty meaningless.Making love for me is a strong primal connection between two people.So if a man beat me in baseball I would not care less but if a man made a stronger physical connection with FI, yes it would matter to me.I must say again I have no angry feeling towards anyone in this situation. MY FI is the the best and all her friends have been nothing but wonderful to me.Its my problem.Thanks again for reading , you guys are awesome.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): To answer your questions:Can you have great sex and be satisfied even if your man wasn't the best lover youve ever had? Absolutely. If you love him the sex might even be better because there is a stronger emotional connection. For women sex is more emotional than physical. My two ex's had very large penis'. The first was large and the sex was amazing. We loved each other. Very hot sex. The second, was HUGE, but I didn't even orgasm with him once. Not once - there was no emotional connection and I just couldn't relax like that. Now with my 3rd, now husband, he's small in girth and size. I don't have that filled up feeling and I don't get wet in anticipation of sex, however I find him so sexy and attractive. With him I orgasm EVERY SINGLE TIME. I can't say the sex is HOT, because I think he's not as aggressive and 'fun' in bed, but he still satisfies me. I love the guy more than anyone ever, we have crazy chemistry and so much fun together outside of the bedroom. For women the importance of sex in a relationship is lower on the list.Do you think less of him if another man was better?NO. Infact there is no man on the planet I've thought of as highly. He is smart, patient, kind and a character of integrity. My ex was a jerk, the second one was a jerk. My husband is the most amazing man on the planet. The sex is great, I'm happy with it, and the best part is we're best-friends. I could care less about the size of his penis.It sounds like your GF had a larger penis in the past and enjoyed that aspect. However, she loves the sex with you. Outside of sex your amazing enough for her to want to marry you. You win some you lose some. Don't focus to much on this bit. She needs to NOT TELL HER FRIENDS THIS type of information. Its not respectful to you. You keep it to yourself and never divulge any hurtful information like this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Can you have great sex and be satisfied even if your man wasn't the best lover youve ever had? 100% positively YES Do you think less of him if another man was better? Not in the least.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 October 2012):
 I think Cerberus nailed it.
I want to add this though. I think your FI was really thoughtless in what she said to her friends. Even IF you hadn't been in the room to hear it, it's still thoughtless.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Ah retro-jealousy an utterly horrible disgusting beast that does wear off after a while OP.
I suffered it badly before and I know how much of a dent to the ego it is but trust me it goes.
Let me ask you, is your girlfriend the best you've had at every single thing ever?
Mines not, she's not even the best sex physically, I've had some really wild women who have torn me apart, literally get runners high after sex with them on top of a crazy orgasm, but she doesn't have to be the best at everything OP, sex with her is profoundly amazing for so many reasons, your putting sex into this little box based on the feeling of being filled up she got by having a bigger penis, I'm just above average in penis size so I've been with plenty of girls who have had bigger and they all say the same thing, that feeling of being filled up to bursting is awesome as hell but it's a novelty that's not at all necessary for great sex. If you want to base sex solely on one tiny aspect and focus all your energies on tiny little thing that isn't even that much of a negative then you're wasting your time. I know you can't help it, it's bruised ego but it will definitely pass OP. It really is the difference between an amazingly tight vagina that fits like a glove or one that is a tad looser but still perfect. One is going to feel a little better physically.
I've loved before but never this long and this deeply to the point where just a good morning kiss still gives me a profound sense of happiness. After 7 years she still makes me feel giddy and excited to see her. sex may not be the best I've ever had but it's without doubt the best love-making I've experienced because we have such a strong bond.
"Can you have great sex and be satisfied even if your man wasn't the best lover youve ever had?"
Can you enjoy pizza even if it's not the best pizza you've ever had? Besides she answered that question didn't she? "I am a wonderful lover and that she would never stay in a relationship much less marry someone that did not satisfy her in bed." Do you think that was a lie? Is she really the kind of woman that would marry a guy who didn't know what he was doing sexually?
"Do you think less of him if another man was better?"
Do you think less of your girlfriend because she's not as great a cook as your mom? or other thing that she's not as great at than other people you know?
OP this woman wants to marry you, that says no matter what tiny little things others may be better than you at, as the complete package you're the best she's ever had, so good in fact that she never wants to lose you, has decided she never wants anyone else sexually. Come on OP, what does that say about your sexual prowess? can't be the best at everything OP, I hate to break it to you OP but she probably had an ex who is a better fighter than you, better climber, better footballer, better at maths, etc. Why is this one thing more important? It's not, it's just a bruised ego and bruises heal. You know she did nothing wrong, it was girl talk and you weren't supposed to hear it. Imagine if she heard the way you talk with your buddies about exes and stuff, wouldn't be pleasant but we all do it.
Have faith OP, it will fade and will not be an issue anymore just fight hard not to let it overcome you to the point of treating her in any way badly or differently and you'll be fine.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Lets flip the question around and say the woman's vagina is too loose. Her man tells his friend that he has never enjoyed intercourse with her as much as he did with his ex's tighter vagina.
I don't think most women would be too thrilled about hearing that. I think they would be even less thrilled that he was telling his friends about it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (31 October 2012):
I'll admit right away that I am one of those women that CAN'T feel your pain and would tell you to " just get over it ". But I'll try to explain why.
It always blows me over the privileged, intense, intimate relationship that men have ... with their own penis. How they identify themselves, sort of , with it.
So : you have a fiancee' who is an extremely attractive woman and is also a rather exceptional human being; that must have attracted other men before you, and, by your own admission, you don't know much about her past, neither you care.
For all you know , she might very well have dated someone much richer than you, able to offer her more than you materially. Or she might have dated someone way more handsome than you, with matinee' idol looks. Or some super intelligent guy who is a member of Mensa and solves his Sudokus in 5 seconds.
I bet what you want that this would not bother you half as much. In fact , probably you'd pat yourself on your back and would say to yourself : " good job, Joe, you are the man. The other guy Sally has dated might have been a millionaire ( or a matinee' idol or a genius etc. etc ) and still ... she wants you, and she is going to marry you. Eh Joe, you must be really doing something right " .
Change all this with " a guy with a bigger penis " and oh the horror, the unspeakable horror. The thought that does not bear contemplating and makes you - in YOUR eyes, not in Sally's -a lesser man.
I don't get it:).
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (31 October 2012):
 People can say truly horrible things that they regret when they're intoxicated.
However, one mistake on her part doesn't mean your whole relationship or marriage is in jeopardy. I'm sure you've made mistakes too, even large ones that you deeply regretted afterwards.
The best thing to do would be to remember that she loves YOU and is marrying YOU. Not her ex. Try to work on forgiving her for her meanness. It's ugly what she said, yes, but forgiveness is the only way to truly heal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour words are very kind. Like I said this isn't the end of the world. shes a fantstic person,I can honestly say hands down she is the best Ive ever had. Im very lucky in that department. I guess my question would be more to women. Can you have great sex and be satisfied even if your man wasn't the best lover youve ever had? Do you think less of him if another man was better?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Honestly, she's immature for even mentioning anything to your friends. You should make her aware of this - private business is private. Including sex. Other than this, there is little you can do but give it time for your bruised ego to heal. Its sad that you learned this. But as a female, I can attest that other than the physical enjoyment of a larger penis, there is nothing more to it. Its like a woman with larger breasts - fun and enjoyable to play with them, but the size means nothing. Just a physical body part. So in that sense, bigger is 'better', but does not indicate the quality of sex or enjoyment.
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