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My fiancé left and it's affecting my health. I need to know everything.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *ativegrl writes:

I'm 34 year's old and my fiance just left me just under 2 weeks ago. I've never been dumped and I'm not dealing with this very well. I've lost alot of weight and I don't leave the house. I really feel he left me because he got involved with someone else. He denies it all the way. I know he's keeping something from me, not knowing is literally affecting my health. I love him and want him back. It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I've been to rock bottom. what can I do to help myself survive this dilema?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008):

Thanks for your update. It's ok if you don't feel like eating, that's normal. Your back at work, that's good, very good.

About the food thing. If you can't eat a full meal, then try eating bits of fruit, peanuts, a bag of crisps, anything small and healthy. Milk shakes are good, and so are meal replacement drinks. I know it's hard, but anything you put in your stomach will give you energy and give you the strength you need at this time.

Your doing well, and I am full of admiration. Take care of you, all our good wishes and blessings go out to you. Big, big Hugs.

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A female reader, nativegrl United States +, writes (2 June 2008):

nativegrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your insight. I am still crying when I think about him. Bit by bit I am finally forcing myself to face life. He isn't coming back and I am alone. But I am working again and that feels good. Still not back to eatting. I can't eat alone yet. I know I will loose it when I finally see him for the first time. I want to see him, but the pain will be too overwhelming. Thank you very much again for you support I really needed to read this now. You are generious and kind Many prayers to you.

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A male reader, mikey_m United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2008):

My partner of four years left me six weeks ago. I was devastated. So I went to the doctor saying I couldn't cope, and was prescribed an antidepressant. It really helped.

Also, take care of yourself. If you eat well you will feel better. And go for a walk every day.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (14 May 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWhen you love someone with all your heart,

you need to let them go and find their own happiness.

You cannot possess them and bound them to you.

Learn to let them go.

You want them to better themself and enjoy what they do.

This site may help you to overcome your sadness;-

http://www.been-dumped.com/relationship-advice-and-articles.php

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

I'm sorry your sad. We've all felt the same, and if I could spare you this pain I would. Going through the same thing myself. You need to look after you, just as carefully as you would a new born baby. Stay away from your ex. Cut of all contact, as it will only make things worse to see him. Cry when you need to, but try not to make this your main activity. Everything else is determination. Get up in the morning, whether you want to or not. Eat three meals a day, even if you don't feel like it. Make time to watch tv, swim, run, play records, paint the ceiling. Whatever, it takes to keep you putting one foot in front of the other. If you don't want to go out, force yourself, and promise yourself a reward when you do something that's positive and about you. Make a list of 50 things you wanna do before you die, then do one of them every day.... Just keep going, cause it's a matter of survival.

I'm in the same position really, so can really empathise with your pain. One peice of advice I picked up. YOU CAN'T DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART. Even though you feel like you want to. The feelings you get after the breakup of a relationship are the similar to those after a death. Cause in a way something has died, your relationship and your future with your ex. So you'll feel numb, sad, guilty, angry, and be bombarded with a whole pile of uncontrollable feelings. Go see your doctor if you loose too much weight. Tell him how your feeling. Talk to your friends, bore them silly.

Everyday I keep saying over and over again.... "And this too will pass" Be good to yourself, your a very special person and if he didn't see that then it really is his loss. Give yourself a couple of months (or a year) then start flirting with other guys, make dates.

Your life is a journey and your sitting in the station at the moment. But soon the train will start moving and you really need to be healthy enough to get on board. Keep healthy, and look after you. Good luck.

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