A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance is scaring me and making me think he might be gay or bi sexual. Here are the reasons:1. He confessed to me that when he was in middle school he gaved a kiss to a guy because he was curious, confused etc but nothing else happened and he realized he liked girls.2. That in high school a rumour started going on he was gay and he got so embarrassed by it that he told himself he was not gonna go that route and made up his mind that he only liked women.3. We were once sleeping and i was behind him. While asleep he grabbed my right leg and was pushing it inside his butt. I got really freaked out about that and demanded an explanation and he insisted that i was making it up but then remembered he was dreaming i dont remember. I kept on teasing him about it and would play around with him grabbing a bottle, poking him from behind and telling him "So you wanted from behind?"4. I have a gay best friend that hangs out with us and my bf sometimes makes comments like "If both of us go in the room dont interrupt us" but he says it's "playing around" according to him. I find that very disturbing and asked him to stop.4. Not too long ago he confessed that a girl once touched him there and that he really liked it and would like for me to do that to him. I completely refused the idea of having anal sex or any contact in that area and he seemed ok with it.We've talked about this subject and i expressed to him my concerns about him having an attraction for men but he completely deny's it and gets sad because he dosent want me thinking that but i cant help it! never have i heard a straight guy saying he likes being touched in that area. I find it completely akward! What should i do? It's akward that he wants to be touched there? Are these potential reasons he might still be attracted to men?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): He certainly sounds bisexual to me (...as Seinfeld would say, not that there's anything wrong with that). Your number 2 and 4 are real red (or rainbow) flags. You are much too young to be married, so I wouldn't even thing about making any commitments here anyway. He might be searching for his own sexual identity now, but he sounds like he enjoys being with you, and he is open about experimenting etc. You could enjoy this whole experience, and encourage him gently/slowly overtime to be honest. You'll get a better grip (pardon the pun) on the situation then. If you find his sexual confusion or bisexuality unacceptable, move on. Or move on later -- you could have some great stories! I once dated this guy... ;)
A
female
reader, MommyOfOne +, writes (31 December 2008):
 Yes. The male G Spot is located in the butt. He probably had a girl stimulate it, had an amazing orgasm, and wants to do that with you, too. Iv tried to get my boyfriend to let me try this on him, and like MOST men, he is unwilling. You man is probably more open sexually then other guys. Which, in the long run, will benefit YOU.
None of these pinpoint to him being gay.
Leave him alone. Don't bully him like people did in high school. He's with YOU, isn't he?
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (31 December 2008):
 With regards to each point:
1. this is not uncommon. A lot of guys have had some sort of homosexual fairly innocent experiences at a young age. Not many of them really want to talk about it. Be glad that he's honest with you.
2. Beware of the fact that "he told himself he was not gonna go that route and made up his mind that he only liked women." Religion, politics and especially sexual orientation are not something you can talk yourself into truly believing or disbelieving.
3. Don't worry about that. Stranger things have happened while sleeping in a bed with someone. I don't think that was an indication of homosexuality.
4. This is not uncommon either. In fact most of my gay friends make sexual jokes like that (with and to) my straight guy friends. It can get pretty annoying sometimes.
5. I've slept with a few guys who really enjoy being touched in the anal area during sex (there's a lot of nerves in that spot). Of course some guys feel completely freaked out by the idea. While it's cool that he told you what he likes, it's not like you have to get near anyone's asshole if you don't want to.
On another note, I had a boyfriend of about 3 years in high school and we all used to joke about him being gay. After awhile I started to believe it kinda. If he had been teased in middle school for it, you might both be thinking about the issue out of insecurity. After all, if there's something you think about or hear often enough, you might just start to think of it as truth even if it's not.
Hope this helps.
-Jmo
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A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (31 December 2008):
 The male G-spot is the prostate, which is actually located inside a man and most accessible via--yep, you guessed it--his bum. Quite a few straight men enjoy stimulation of this spot by their (female) partners. While you may not feel comfortable touching him there, his request that you do it doesn't mean that he's gay. It sounds as if he'd had it done to him before, got a great orgasm out of it, and was hoping to try it again sometime with you.
It's hard to say from your other remarks if there is any truth to him being gay. If you are genuinely concerned about it, wait a while before you marry him. You present as 18-21 which is quite young to get married anyway, and there is no reason to rush him to the altar when you are unsure. Good luck =]
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