A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last night i was looking through some pictures on my internet at home and then started to discover that alot of porn sites had been looked at and also all these pictures of women from the internet.When i asked my fiance he said that he looked at them because he was lonely.and it was " a Man thing" and everytime i asked him why he was looking at other women his reply was just because???I cant get it out of my head now, we were supposed to be getting married in April 2008, but now i feel like i dont even know him!!What should i do?????
View related questions:
fiance, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Hi
Yes I guess this is a man thing - It happened with me too 3 years back my husband had same habits; I talked with him in civilized way; I knew if I'll force him he can't stop watching so we decide whenever you want to watch we will watch together and if we are not together you should tell me that today or on weekend or when you were away a watched. Anyhow within 6 months all things went perfect some times I make him jealous and told him I watched too. So bottom line now we have very happy life in all matters.
Formula will work be sincere with each other. Further you know him better beside this thing; if you have other issues I don't know.
Good luck
Lisa
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Hi, I think porn is acceptable and if it does not offend you then maybe you can join in to add abit of your own spice to your relationship. It can be very erotic at first but you have got to be very csrefull because what can start out as harmless fun and fantasy can soon cause a great rift that may lead to the breakdown of your relationship, Porn can become very addictive and especially internet porn this can cause you too feel left out and insecure even rejection, I am experiencing it now and I feel as though my partner has had an affair over the net or indeed he may have started to chat with someone and even met up. or visited some of these sex clubs that are advertised all over these sites. it is a very close line to walk. Be carefull it doesnt take over your own sex lives. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): i understand why you feel insecure. i have in the past too. but he isn't comparing you and its very common. its like he said- a guy thing. maybe you should try watching it with him and see what all the fuss is about. you'll probably just find it silly
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 I found the link to the conversation:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-the-dearcupid-men-elaborate-on-their-views.html
Hope this helps.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (10 July 2007):
I've found a lot of questions in this regard from many women of all ages. I remember we had an interesting exchange of opinions on this, but I cannot find it again.
I understand that porn makes many women feel insecure, and many women feel that their men do not really love or appreciate them, and they would prefer to be with a porn star. A lady said she felt her partner had settled for her because he couldn't find the porn star of his dreams.
Then, you have a lot of men saying that porn isn't important to them, and it's just visual stimulation. That is has nothing to do with their love for their partners, or with insatisfaction with the relationship, et cetera; you get the picture.
There are also some women who do not care at all about porn. And, now that I think of it, I knew a couple who regularly rented porn DVD's "to learn new things and put them to good use in the bedroom".
So, opinions on this vary. I see you're hurt, and I also see he's among the vast majority of men who don't think porn is important.
I think you maybe you should go halfway. I'm not trying to suggest the ideal solution, but the least imperfect one, since you two intend to get married. He needs to give you the reassurance you need. I can't imagine how. And, you need to understand that he might look at porn, yet it doesn't mean anything for him. You are the real thing, and he prefers you.
I hope this helps.
...............................
|
