A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 21 years old and a junior in college. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We got engaged after a yr of dating, he is 19 and we both attend the same college. This summer he was gone for 3 months for construction work. He works with his father's company. This year we have fought almost every day and it is mainly my fault, i get mad over stupid things. however one thing i always get upset about that he does not understand is how little alone time we spend together. he has a very busy schedule with school full time, band, work study, and hes in a fraternity. when he does have free time he spends it playing video games, doing fraternity stuff, or hanging with his friends. I know he needs to hang out with his friends, i need my friend time too, but he doesn't realize how bad he hurts me. we never spend time together just me and him and he never does romantic things for me anymore. he makes me feel like he puts his friends before me, and it sucks. the man i want to spend the rest of my life with should always put me first right? he tells me im being ridicoulous and get upset too easily, and that i need to learn to give him his alone time. i just dont know what to do anymore.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): If you fight almost everyday, that means you see or call each other that often, and it's no wonder you guys are always fighting in one of the busiest times in his life. Give him space. As for him choosing his friends over you, have you ever noticed that wars are fought by men? When forced to choose between life, women, or friends, we will always choose camaraderie. Fortunately, this isn't a war and there's no reason why his friends can't be yours - you'll gain new friends who will vouch for you when he's being unreasonable, and you'll get to spend more time with your fiance. Likewise, you can try playing video games with him - they've come a long way since Super Mario and your fiance would surely appreciate someone to watch his back while he captures the flag.
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