A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Finance broke it off with me because he said i have a lot of issues and i need to get them taking care of. I doesn't make sense to me hes not helping me hes hurting me. Hes my push he stopped me from cutting. He takes all my pain away. I love him with all my heart N i don't know how else to prove that to him. I need him I cant do this alone. I just wanna die if he doesnt give me this one last chance. I need him to trust me. How do i get him back how do i get him to see how much he really means to me N that hes really the only guy i ever want to be with. I want to grow old with him. I love him from all my heart. Hes all the think about. Hes my world my life my everything. I dont know what to do. Do i keep trying or give up?? How do i make him understand how i feel??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): He told me he would stay friends with me but he said he can't give me another chance. Like i said it just doesn't make sense to me. I love him so much. It just feels like this is setting me back from fixing my problems i guess. I understand what you saying though.
A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 He wants you to get your issues sorted out - not prove to him how important he is to you.
The problem is, from experience I know that consciously being a person who stops someone else from self-harming puts such an immense amount of pressure on you that you can't cope with it.
Prove you don't need him to keep yourself up. No one person can cope with being your life force. If he think you're going to fall apart everytime something goes wrong, he's not going to want to have to pick you up from a pile of rubble every time. Of course he should be there for you, but you need to understand that to be cutting and hurting yourself in the first place, to be feeling like your whole life relies on him - u sed u'd die if he didn't give u one last chance - these are the issues you need to take care of.
Solve the cause of the cutting. Be more independant. realise that you're not with him because you NEED him to live. Be able to live on your own - and show him you can live on your own but you WANT to be with him out of choice, not out of need.
You shouldn't have to do things 'alone' but you can't expect someone else to take care of all of your problems. You have to be stable enough to survive on your own, otherwise ur relationship is just going to consist of him holding u up.
Make sure u tell him u love him and he means a lot to you, but if you really don't see where he's coming from - why don't you ask him what issues he means and then deal with them in order to get him back?
Or tell him ur willing to deal with ur problems, but u dont want to be alone while you do it?
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A
female
reader, Tanya101 +, writes (18 April 2008):
No one wants a little girl. You have to be strong for him. You have to not let out all your emotions out on him all at once, no one guy can handle that.
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