A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi. i have this friend who ive known for a bit over 3 months and she is reallly touchy feely with me, she constantly hugs me (for really long, like pushing herself into me...breasts and everything..once she even said "our boobs were touching...nice!" lol), kisses me on the cheek, cuddles next to me and tells me she loves me, but its never like "i love u ur my friend" its always like "i love u" and she is dead serious, like she'll say it randomly whenever she feels like it, especially if i talk about a guy she just gets quiet and is like "i love u". She holds my hand, sits on my lap, and maintains intense eye contact, and her eyes are like always wandering around my face. she gets all quiet if i talk about other guys, and she never talks about guys herself. she is soo sweet and i love her too. but im curious as to how she feels...whether or not it goes beyond friendship. she lives in another country...continent actually (i just met her this summer) and the time is 6 hours ahead of mine, and she wakes up an hour earlier to talk to me every morning via instant messaging. she says she loves to sleep but she loves me more. and she says she wud never do this for anyone else, but she is glad to do it for me. not a convo goes by without her telling me she loves me atleast 3 times...but its mostly like 5 or more times. once i remember we talked and she said "i dont like men" with a serious face on, she didn't laugh or smile or anything, and i didnt push the topic further, it didnt want to seem over eager or anything. but nowwww...she says she likes one of my guy friends which is like really weird, shes totally sending me mixed messages and its driving me nuts, she always talks about him with me and im the only one she told apart from her brother and sister in law, she doesnt want anybody else to know. but then when i try to play her games by talking about a guy, she just changes the topic, she doesn't even acknowledge what i've said...so its weird. once i was pretending to like 2 guys and i was telling her about my "confusion", and i was like who shud i choose, and shes like "choose mark" and i was like..."i choose u", and she was like "ok :), thats what i wanted to hear :)"...so yeah...im real confusedi just need to know:do u think she likes me as more than a friend?do u think she is playing games with me by randomly telling me about this guy?do u think she meant it when she said she "doesnt like men" or do u think she just has a weird sense of humour.im a female myself and i realize that girls are a lot more open about how they feel than guys "i.e saying i love u to ur other female friends etc... but how can u distinguish between how a girl acts to a close friend, and how a girl acts when they have feelings for their best friend? cuz im pretty sure she's not like this with anybody else though, and so i'm wondering...sorry for the long post...i just really need answers to ALL these questions...detailed, genuine responses much appreciated :)thanks :D
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best friend, boobs, mixed messages, sister in law Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): If she "acts this way with all her friends", I am curious as to the friends she has. She may be a little confused,..or very confused. This is possible. I don't want to be too presumptuous here, but sometimes girls are a little slower than guys on the "uptake" when it comes to sexual orientation. I would just keep your communication on a friendly basis. Drop the talk about guys, and see what her responses are. If she "finds" herself, You should be able to tell. No-one "chooses" their orientation. It is not a "sin" to be different. But it can be problematical. You can still be friends. But things must be understood. Do you follow me? Best wishes. Tom
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): She fancies the parnts off you! Now go for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni do know what i am, and i do like her, but it is confusing because we are both christians and she could just be one of those ppl who act like that with all there friends...do u see what i mean? i am just looking for assurance before i do anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Anon, are YOU playing a game with us? I suspect you are. But if you are not, I can only say that you are very naive for your age. Your friend is interested in you as more than a "friend". Gayness is a pretty open thing now. I am surprised you don't seem to know what it is. If you have the same feelings as your friend, you should admit it. But, if not, tell her simply that you are not so inclined. It will then be for her and you to decide if you want to be just "friends", or end the contact altogether. Look in the mirror a lot. Think a lot. You are certainly old enough to know who and what you are by now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Sounds like she's trying to make you jealous by talking about a guy as you do it to her. But the big question is, do YOU like her? If you don't then back off and let her live her life, if you do then say something. Your playing games too.
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