| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I have liked a girl for a while, and we went on a date and things went great, and then I found out shd'd had an abortion 7 or so months ago and it's made me feel a bit strange about it all. Do you have any advice?
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): Ok well, first you need to think about it if she wouldnt have had an abortion then she would have a baby. Now which would you prefer? Or if thats not the way you are looking at it then just remember that all she did was have sex without a condom. O r any protection.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2005): By feeling strange..I am assuming you think it was morally wrong? Is that correct? You don't give enough information on what type of "strange feelings" you feel. Abortion is a very hard thing for some people to accept due to their unbringing and beliefs and that is ok. If you are anti-abortion you are certainly entitled to have your own beliefs. If she has had an abortion and you cannot get past that...then you need to tell her your true feelings. And perhaps the both of you can decide where your relationship will go from there. If you feel this may
create problems with how you feel about her...be totally honest with her now, so she can pursue a relationship with someone who this may not be a conflict of his moral values.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (18 July 2005):
This girl probably wants to put her abortion in the past where i think you should put it too.
She must have had genuine reasons to go through with an abortion and she will probably still be upset about it.
If you feel you cant discuss it with her, tell her you dont want her to talk about it as it upsets you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2005): NOt without more information about your feelings, than you give here! What do you feel strange about? If you oppose women having abortions, then she is obviously not the girl for you. If not, the fact that she was pregnant by another man and had an abortion should be of little or no concern to you. How she felt about terminating the pregnancy should be of concern, and I think you have a right to know how serious a relationship she had with the man who was the father. Is she over him? Is she physically all right. You may not know her well enough to be asking her if she can still have babies, but if the subject of babies comes up, you certainly have the right to inquire if she wants to have children some day. Are you upset because she is not a virgin? Good Grief! In this day and age, that should be considered a plus,and not a minus! If you have ever slept with a virgin, her concern about the pain she will feel losing her virginity makes lovemaking feel like you are the High Executioner, rather than your girls lover. How about writing back and filling us in with more details. I'd like to respond more specifically, because this issue has come up before. How it is handled depends almost entirely on you. pops.
...............................
|
