A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well, I don't know whether I'm in love with my male English teacher or just having crush on him but I do know that I have feelings for him and it's more than just an admiration or respect.. I've been feeling it for more than one year now... I'm really confused on what to do... I know that it's wrong and inappropriate to like or love your own teacher especially when he is like 20 years older than you even though he's unmarried but it's still inappropriate.. Please help me! I really don't know what to do.. I'm really confused.. I couldn't look at his eyes.. My heart beats faster and harder when he's around.. Please help me!
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female
reader, Kit-Kat  +, writes (15 April 2011):
we are in the same boat :)
well even if your feelings are just a crush or real love, nothing can happen until you leave school. And by that time you might have a boyfriend and forgotten all about him, or moved away to university and find love there! He won't want to feel attraction for a student 20 years younger than him! its normal for teens like us to have crushes on teachers :) meanwhile, I jut enjoy my teachers fun lessons and the occassional chat I have with him. Just relax :)
A
female
reader, pink90 +, writes (1 April 2011):
 your young, its normal to have crushes on teachers - trust me I should know as I kind of going through the same thing except I am a 2nd year university student. Nothing can ever happen thats what you need to keep telling yourself as he could lose his job, at university level it is only frowned upon but it is still wrong, so I have had to come to terms with it - and I see my teacher everywhere, in class, in his office and in the canteen its like there is no escape.... now my teacher has dropped on me that me and my friend are taking him out for his birthday... its like a never ending cycle.
you will find someone your own age soon, it doesn't matter how long it takes - one day it will happen :) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): If anything does happen and you end u together, are you gonna stay with him forever? Even when he's old and grey? Even when he's too slow to keep up with you? Even when all your friends are out having fun with their husbands while you sit and care for your ill one?When he dies of old age, years before you, are you gonna sit and regret your decision? Trust me, Dear, you shouldn't throw your future away over this crush.It's probably just hormones since you're still a teenager. If so, this feeling will pass :) Take care! I really hope this helps
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): It's not wrong to have the feeling. Lots of people get crushes on their teachers.
Of course, acting on that feeling is wrong, unfair and unwise. And that's without considering the effects on your teacher (who, frankly, is old enough to look after his own interests when approached by a 15 year old proclaiming love).
We all get inappropriate crushes from time to time. It's just part of life.
It's trickier in school because of teenage hormones, because of the hothouse atmosphere, because of your restricted social circle (family aside, they're probably the only adult male that has regular contact with you), because you're still learning introspection, and because the role of teaching touches a sexual nerve (they're experienced, powerful and caring).
Introspection means knowing yourself -- to look at yourself as a stranger might, but with all of your hidden thoughts. It's a useful habit to develop. It makes it easier to acknowledge that you have a crush, to put it in a compartment, and to take it out once in a while and consider it.
It's a good alternative to allowing your emotions to become all consuming, controlling your life, and making poor choices. You can pick those emotion-led people -- the one's with the horrible husband, the unfortunate string of bad boyfriends, the credit card debt from impulse purchases, the continual need for status symbols like the too-big house, the too-new car.
Another technique for dealing with emotions is to make plans. So, you're 15, you'll be out of school at 18. So in January of the following year you could bump into him, tell him of your crush and invite him on a date. Spend some of that emotion figuring out the details. Now what is actually going to happen is that by January 2015 your feelings will be very different and you can have a laugh. Maybe one time in a thousand you emotions have not changed, and a surprising number of teachers have dated ex-students once both are permitted to do so.
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A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Even though I'm an old "Geezer" today, I too was once in the same position as you are now.So I know how hard this is to do. You just have to ignore these feelings. In time they will pass. I know this answer sucks, but there's nothing else you can do. Any attempt on your part to act on these feelings, can in fact, jeopardize his career and reputation. He doesn't even have to acknowledge your feelings, just the rumors alone could damage him. If you respect this man at all, please ignore your feelings for him. Like I said, in time the feelings will fade. Some day in the future you will be able to look back with fondness in your heart and think, "what a great teacher he really was".I wish you the strength to make the right decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): I am presently in the same position as you are right now :) You should forget the feelings you have and respect him as a teacher, even though he's unmarried and blah blah blah :) Did you know that if something happens between you guys, jail sentences are probable. Good luck :)
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