A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiya! Hope you can help me. I am 31, nearly 32, I have been with a wonderful man for nearly 8 months and he just completes me. I don't have any children.However, here goes, my dad doesn't approve at all because he has kids..he won't let me speak about him as he goes mad at my mum after and he believes that this man is nothing because he has kids and he presumes he ran off from his ex (the truth is, he was with his ex for 12 years, then she ran off with someone else). My mum has come round, saying that at my age, people will have kids. My dad presumes that my fella has no money and is basically a scum!! But...he hasn't even met him!!! I am so so happy, but it does upset me as I do want to marry my man one day, he has told me he will have kids with me. He is going back to college to train to be an electrician, but still my dad believes I am lying to him and he thinks he is really unemployed (my fella has a good job at the moment aswell). My dad loves my ex, who was awful to me but he had money..I don't get it!Any advice would be great on how to approach this x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): Well if I was a parent, I too would rather my daughter/son met someone without children. They definitely complicate relationships more than meeting someone single and having children together.However, if you are serious about this man, he (your dad) will learn to accept it if he loves you... as if you are happy, that should be the most important thing to him.As for his ex running off with someone else...do you know this for a fact? (Or is it 'his side of the story?') Remember there are 3 sides to a story, his, hers and the truth...!!Talking about having children with you (when he already has them) and getting married after 8 months seems a bit quick to me but that's just my opinion.All you can do really is tell your Dad you are happy and want him to be happy for you, and if he is pre judging the guy you're with, telling him to kindly refrain from making judgements on him unless he is prepared to meet him, and get to know him first.I'm sure he will come round eventually. As to your ex, did your dad know how he treated you? Maybe your dad is old fashioned and things the man, bringing home the 'bacon' is what makes real husband material (regardless of how he treats you?)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): I would stop confiding in your Dad and turn to Mom only for support and kindness. Your Dad is acting like a jealous psycho.
Trust in your gut and focus on your relationship. For now, its not worth any effor to try to convince your close minded, hateful Father. Its a form of abuse and toxic for your Dad to behave thusly.
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