A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am really confused. I’ve always wanted the best, the prettiest, the most expensive… perhaps I’m shallow I don’t know. I had a string of unsuccessful attempts at relationships with men who on the outside were very attractive. I never got to know their personalities because I never got to know them.In the midst of all the madness I met a guy who I didn’t find that gorgeous but we got along amazingly and I just had to keep seeing him. Hours went by like minutes with him, and I always felt content when I was with him. I didn’t worry about anything when he was around. Slowly we got into a relationship and we’ve now been together for about 6 months. He treats me so well, he listens to what I say, when I have ‘issues’ he talks to me and helps me figure things out. He’s absolutely amazing.I however have these ‘moments’ where I still long for that ‘gorgeous’ man. I know that outward appearances are nothing when compared to what’s on the inside… but I just can’t help it. I also know that I’m no Miss Universe either. Last week I was out and saw this very good looking guy and thought ‘If only I could have him.’ Once I even thought of leaving my BF because I want to go and find the man who I find insanely attractive. But I can’t leave him. Life without him would not be the same.I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t want to live without him but I also find myself thinking about the ‘gorgeous’ men I never got to have. Is it something to do with wanting what you can’t have? I don’t know if the problem is really with me or if perhaps, even though my BF is amazing, he’s just not the right guy for me? I am scared that all this is in my head and I would be leaving something good to go and chase a fantasy. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): Thanks so much for your answer FierceBadRabbit, it was great. I've been thinking about this a lot and I think that I need to work on things myself and not ruin a good relationship. When you said "perhaps you consider these things measures of success and great accomplishments" I think you're absolutely right. It helps a lot to vent on here and get opinions...thanks so much!
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