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female
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anonymous
writes: I recently started to think I might be gay- when I masturbate I always think about girls- either me and another girl or just two other girls. I've had one lesbian experience about 2 years ago but it was just a drunken laugh and I wasn't attracted to her. I've only ever dated guys and I'd be embarrassed to have a relationship with a girl. Help I'm so confused.
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female
reader, Ann +, writes (11 August 2005):
You would not be gay you would be Bi but that don't matter you should be what ever your heart tell's you. If you like guy's good and if you like girl's that's good too. It is not always a phaze you go through it is some thing you just want to be or just some thing you wanted to try to see if that is you. Ther is nothing to be a shames of I know from experiance but you got to choose what feels right to you. No one can tell you who to be or who to like but your heart.
Good Luck for what ever your heart desires.
A
female
reader, Doodles +, writes (10 August 2005):
The first thing to do is not look to into this. The fac of the matter could be that your either bored with what sex life you have at the moment and are just experimating with something new. That, or you could just be going through a phase. Then of course, you could be gay. There's nothing you can do to find out right away weather you or not,you'll just know in time. Let time play it's part. Do what feels right, think about whaat and who ever you wish, it will take time after this to know for sure your sexuality, but the important things to remember are that - as confused as you are, you can't rush this, and secondly - you don't have to rush it because whatever the outcome there's nothing to be ashamed of, so don't be afraid of turning out to be gay, also if you decide you are straight and it was just one off,don't let it hang in the back of your mind with If's and But's.
Hope this helped.
Apologies for any Typo's and spelling mistakes.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (10 August 2005):
 Remember that your fantasies don't always reflect your actual sexual desires. Most people know that they have one or two (many a lot of) "secret" fantasies that they find deliciously erotic, but that they have no intention of acting on. Because they're just fantasies, and not reality, it's "safe" to think about them, even if acting them out in real life wouldn't be as enjoyable as the daydream.
Having said that, of course, you should be looking at your history with both men and women, and how you regard the relationships you've had. Maybe you are indeed gay and just never gave yourself the freedom to explore that. Lots of women discover they're more attracted to women than men, sometimes after their own kids are grown.
Spend some time thinking about whether you're actually sexually attracted to women in your real life. Do you tend to find women visually appealing when you see others on the street, or in the gym, or at work? How do you feel when you think about becoming sexually intimate with another woman? Does it appeal? Do you find yourself dreaming about just one woman, or women, generally?
Maybe you should give yourself a chance to date women and see how that works out for you. Obviously, you wouldn't want to lead any particular woman on as to your intentions, but maybe just a few casual dates will help you understand your deeper feelings about this, and then you can decide what to do next.
Hope this is some help.
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