A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i wonder if my boyfriend will ever be just mine.I am 22 and he is 34. we have been together for almost 6 months and he is still married but is living with me. He also has 3 kids with his wife so i know he talks to her cause of the kids and divorce stuff. I worry a lot and ask him a lot of questions and my family thinks i let his wife ruin our relationship too much. is this true? i love him a lot but i am also getting frustrated because i work a lot now and have to come home and clean up after him and after a long day at work i dont want to. I just want some help around the house. I feel like i am complaining a lot and asking to many questions and worrying for no reason but cant help it. Now he his wife sent court papers for child support but there is nothing about divorce on them. HELP!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were dating before he left his wife. he told me he left because he wasnt happy with her anymore. He doesnt contact his kids very much, im not sure if its because he feels guilty or if he just doesnt want to
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): In a nutshell, the simple answer to your first question is that no, your boyfriend will never, ever just be yours. He has three small children and irrespective of the state of his relationship with his wife, those three people will need a lot of his time and attention now more than ever as their parents are splitting up.
Your email says you are 22 so this would account for you even asking this question although your age is showing as 30-35 in the title bar so there is some confusion in your post.
I would imagine that if he's going through a separation and a divorce, now was not the best time to be starting to live with someone else. Instead of entering a serious relationship with positivity and enthusiasm for your future, he still hasn't dealt with his break up and baggage. Sounds like he is exactly in a place where most men going through a divorce and losing their family would be - depressed, confused and not concentrating on a new relationship. Although there isn't info on your post about his reasons for leaving his wife or how long he'd been split up before meeting you, I can't help feeling that this guy should be trying everything to ensure that his children are his number one priority - if there is a girlfriend waiting in the wings hoping that he is going to make her his priority while this is all going on, she will only be disappointed - which it sounds like you are.
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