A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm a girl, and in love with another girl. She lives far away but we met in person and she was extremely flirty, alwyas touching me, holding hands, kissing me on the cheek, calling me love, slapping my butt, hugging me for really long, kissing my arm when i had it around her neck from behind etc. So please no one say anything, i can differentiate between friend flirting and more. So at the end of the summer she moved all the way back home, across the ocean, but we've talked everyday nonstop, every msg and convo filled with i love you's and i miss you, and im dying without you etc.She's been gone for 8 months and i live in the canada, she lives in the ukraine and we have talked every single day since she left, sometimes just messages saying "i just wanted to say goodnight" or "i just wanted to say i love you", but contact nonetheless. We also have talked about bi's n gays, n she thinks there is no problem with it like i do, and i made up a scenario that a girl kissed me to see her response, and she said there'd be nothing wrong if i was the one who kissed her, so she's amazing like that. And so i had confidence in the fact that she had some sort of a complex love for me too..at least if not "in love".So i wrote her a long message saying i love her and i have feelings for her and how im really confused, because she is the first girl i've had feelings for, everyone else i've liked has been a guy. However the problem is, even though i wish something could happen, like i cud foresee a long distance relationship with her, and i would really want to be with her, i wrote: "obviously nothing could ever happen and i just wanted you to know, it was eating me alive inside and i know everything about u and so it's only fair. It sounds like a dumb request but maybe u can just keep it to urself and act like i never sent this message"i only said that cuz i had to tell her but i was terrrrified of her response. And so we've been talking like normally, except she's kinda toned it down with the "i love u's" cuz i wrote her that it makes me hurt when she writes that and i know nothing can happen, or maybe cuz she was weirded out i don't exactly know. But yes, i know it was stupid, because now we've been talking like nothing ever happend, and im wondering if she's listening to my request n keeping her feelings to herself (whether it's requitted or rejection) or if she was relieved i wrote that because she can't respond it's too awkward or somethign?what do u think is going on in her head...i really want an answer now but i feel so stupid being like: "ok so u know how i told u i love u, and i told u to ignore the msg, can u please acknowledge it now and give me an answer?"any help or advice would suffice?
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confidence, flirt, I love you, kissing, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's the thing, i think she might have some feelings too, it was that inner gut feeling that played a significant role in my telling her. But i don't know anymore. And yes, her flirting was majorly more than friend type, i didn't mind at all though. Like one time she was sitting next to me on a bencth, we were listening to someone speak, and right after, she like turned to me, put her legs on my lap, put her arms around my neck and just stared into my eyes, i was trying to talk to relieve the tension but she just kept nodding and smiling cutely and staring into my eyes. Then someone we knew asked if they cud use my cell which was in my bag, n so i had to take her knees off and arms around me, and she later told me that she doesn't like the girl (who asked me for my cell), she never met her before, and it didn't seem like she wanted to get off cuz i had to physically remove her :P That's just one of many examples. Thanks a lot for your answers though, I will definitely try to keep you updated :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): That's a difficult one :-S because u don't see her you won't be able to read her expressions and body language. But i think it's possible to tell how someone feels over msn or by text in my opinion..
But anyway if you r good friends with her then you will eventually find the right moment to bring it up. If she is toning down the "I love you"s then she may be a little weirded out and it's probably a good thing that she is still acting normal towards you... i mean that's better than just ignoring you completely!
Sounds like your feelings for her were really eating u up inside if you felt as though you had to tell her :-( i know how u feel completely with that one.
Do you think that she feels the same way towards you at all? Was the flirting when you met her definitely more-than-friend type flirting?
Please keep me updated!
xx Hope xx
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A
female
reader, Angels1have1wings  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 hmmm this might not help but i can give you a suggestion.
If i read that message i would get a few things from it.
Firstly since you made it clear that you like her she's probably happy with that but it's the words "obviously nothing could ever happen" and "can just keep it to urself and act like i never sent this message" that send out a mixed message. I know you meant it in the context that you're scared because you were admitting your feelings and that you live away from her, but she could see it that you are suggesting that the relationship can't go any further and that you don't want anyone else to know about you and her.
It sounds like you have a clear idea about things and i don't need to tell you anything about how to act in this situation but can i suggest that maybe you clear things up with her. Maybe she thought she was coming on too strong to you and had to back down.
But i'm guessing the only reason you wrote that was because of the fact that this is you're first female relationship. It is scary to put yourself out there when everything has changed and i'm guessing she'll understand that; i mean there must have been a point when she had to go through the same thing.
Maybe just e-mail her again and explain what you were thinking when you wrote that e-mail to her. If you want this relationship to continue let her know that and maybe tell her that the distance between you two is not an issue.
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