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male
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*iggmachine
writes: My girlfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. She is the first I have been with, while I am her 6th. I could have got over this but she kept on going to her ex's house at least 2 times a week to cook him dinner and watch movies with him. She even spent 12 hours at his party once. We live in different countries so it was hard. I would set time aside to talk to her and every time she would put me on hold and talk to her ex for an nour or so. To make it worse she would get jealous if I went out to a pub with a group of friends and there were females there. She made me feel so worthless. She has since moved to my country but I gave her the condition that if she is living with me I don't want her to have contact with her ex, as it is too excessive and she doesn't take my feelings into account. She agreed but on the second day she recieved an email off him. She lied to me for three months and said it was a group email. But in reality it was a love letter begging her to come back to him and he would pay the airfare. This whole time she didn't have a job so I was working over 60 hours a week (and still am) while she laid on the bed watching tv (of which 586 in that time she put on 7 kgs). Now she does have a job and is trying, but she acts like she has now gone above and beyond the call of duty by working. Most people would leave a gf if she did that but my friends and even my family say a guy like me should be happy for anything at all. Is it true? Am I being unfair to her?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006): Hey, I read this exact same question eairler on this site, but it was your girl friend posting. You should look for her post and read it. She also evidently uses this site. Sorry there is no advice, but she is truly sorry about it. In her post I learned she was from the netherlands, and you are from either australia or austria, I can't remember. So look on this site for prefious postings and see what she said. It might help. Her post is titled "This is a really difficult one... My boyfriend is so depress he wants to end it all... And it's all my fault. How do I fix it?" and it is located (at least right now) as number 17 on the "long distance" subheading. Sorry for no actual advice, but this might help.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (20 February 2006):
 No you are not being unfair to her.....basically,she is being unfair to you.This woman of yours is seeing her ex behind your back and lying about the emails at the same time.....dont put up with it any longer.....why should you be grateful for a girlfriend who cannot be bothered to being straight with you? So because she is working,does that mean she is a fantastic woman of the year?....your family and friends have got their priorities wrong.Doesnt it bother them,that you are being two timed?....im sorry but you would be better off with out her....let her go back to her ex and cook his dinners for him....cos if that was me....the dinner would be on her head....not on the plate!!!
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (20 February 2006):
 Honey this girl is using you and is way out order. Tell her to sling her hook, how dare she put you on hold for her ex and spend all that time with him, its unfair to you, you've even said so yourself she doesn't consider you're feelings. Fair enough she hid the emails from you, probably because she didn't want the hassle of explaining to you. As for your parents saying you should think your self lucky, I think its the other way round, she should think herself lucky! A man who is willing to work endless hours to look after his women and let her stay at home. You deserve someone who is willing and happy to work as hard as you. It doesn't sound as if you have anything in common with this women. First of all you should let her look after herself for a while, when she sees how hard it is see if she has such a hissy attitude! You sound like a wonderful man and I think lots of women would be incredibly happy, grateful and secure to have you as the man in their life. Please don't let your parents or this women batter your confidence in making a better life for YOURSELF!
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (20 February 2006):
no you are not being unfair. no one should be told what your friends and family are telling you. assuming you don't beat her up or exploit her or anything like that then ofcourse you deserve better. sometimes people stay friends with their ex and it can cause problems where it shouldn't but what you have said it seems you have every right to have a problem with it.
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