A
female
age
36-40,
*weetpie88
writes:hi.I been thinking lately if i ever break up with my boyfriend what would happen to me.I've been with my bf for a while and our relationship is serious. i have lost my virginity to my boyfriend.my family is quite religious and if i ever get married to someone else and not my bf, what would be my excuse for not being virgin, i do trust my bf however things never last. i feel so bad about myself and i cant stop thinking for what is going to happen to me. plz help i just need some advice. thnx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Hi,
it is your body, at the end of the day it is nobody's business but your own. If your future partner is religious then you should make him understand very on in the relationship not to expect you to be a virgin. Would you want to marry a man who expects his future wife to be a virgin anyway, think about it , it is controlling behaviour if you ask me.
You live in the U.K a very liberal forward thinking nation you don't have to live by centuries old values any more. If you are a good person, show respect to your family and treat your partner well then surely that is more important than having your hymen in tact.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Your family are religious....are you?
Would your family rather you stay with someone you are unhappy with because you have slept with them or be happy with someone else? Hopefully the latter.
Don't worry about what others would say, to be honest its not their business anyway. Anyhow you've kind of broke the rules with sex before marriage anyway right?
Be happy and dont worry about anyone else. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Your sexual behavior is very personal to you. From what I understand, your values/beliefs are very different from your family. So long as your behavior is consistent with your beliefs I think it's totally OK. You really have to worry about your family on this matter because this doesn't concern them in the least.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Your family will forgive you and move on. Do you have to declare that you are a non virgin?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Hey honey. Well, will they have to find out that you arent a virgin when you get married? Really, it hasnt got a lot to do with them - what you choose to do is totally your decision, but I know how you feel. My family are religious too, and I cant help worrying in case they find out that I have had sex before marriage.. But if they do, I'll just tell them that it doesnt effect them and it hasnt harmed me in any way, so why should they make a big deal of the past? Good luck honey :]
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