A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My family hates me and i don't know what to do. My mother has ever said anything nice about me and that sounds like a lie but she said to my face that i am selfish lazy and wicked and that there was nothing good about me. My siblings don't like me ( i have five by the way) and my dad just ignores me. The only way i survive is that my little brother who is a year younger talks and hangs out with me. I stay by myself in my room and for whatever reason i am always sleeping. My mom yells at me and she says that she is sick and tired of me and that she is going to start spanking me again. She says that as the oldest child I am a big disappointment. I have low self esteem, i hate myself, my grades have dropped and i want to run away. I am working on my laziness but i am very forgetful so when i am doing work literally a second later i forget what i am doing and go do something else and then it seems like i am being lazy because i didn't finish. I just don't know what to do. My parents don't give me room to change because everytime i think i am improving they come and insult me and say i am a daughter of the devil (yes they said that) I just don't know what i should do now. Should I run away maybe? or is that just being a coward?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Ignore your family. They sound miserable. Focus on staying out of the house - do some sports, running, dance - anything to get the adrenaline pumping and your confidence back. Exercise will also give you a boost of energy, better sleep at night (so you won't be so tired during the day) and affect your brain chemistry in a more positive way so you aren't replaying your family's insults in your head.
Focus on school, and leaving for college as soon as you can. Education is your ticket out, so try to talk to your teachers about your pressures and how to succeed in your classes (they will be more sympathetic than you think.) Once you leave the house, don't look back - make them apologize to you (trust me, in a few years, they will be begging for you to be back in the family.)
I'm sorry you have to go through this. A part-time job or volunteering might be a great way to feel better about yourself and get your resume started.
It sounds like you could be depressed because of your situation and the verbal abuse going on in your home. I think the less time you are around your family - and the more time you are around people who value you - the better. Focus on the future so you won't feel so trapped - then focus on the present to figure out how to get there. It WILL get better as soon as you are old enough to leave the house. Go where the people are positive!
A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Running away is never a option of working a problem out for the long term. Aside from the parents view of laziness what is the underlying behaviour for the spiteful cruel comments to you? Have you behaved inappropriately for your parents to speak and call you daughter of the devil? Improve your grades study more everyone gets sidetracked doing chores every now and then and parents will frown if a child is doing badly in school but if your marks are dropping due to the emotional abuse from your parents you need to find out why they are calling you bad names for so you can improve yourself but also remember you can't please everyone in the world even parents.
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