A
female
age
30-35,
*illy009
writes:I'm 16 and i have a bf, 18, "Joe." We have been together for six months now. We have always said we are getting married and will always be together because we love each other a lot. he treats me so well and really cares about me.My friend, 16, "Phil," has liked me for a while now. Hes a good friend and i know that he really, really likes me. i dont know much about his girlfriend past, but i do know he was cheated on earlier this year.Recently I have started to like Phil a lot. Hes so sweet to me and makes me feel so good. I really miss the flirting and that nervous feeling you get when you like someone, since i have been with my bf for so long.Yesterday I tried breaking up with my bf, since I felt like is was the best thing to do. I thought that it wasnt fair to Joe since I like another guy.He gets jealous really easy so i decided i shouldnt tell him about Phil, even though Joe already knew Phil likes me.Well, the break up didnt go well. He said he didnt care about me liking Phil, as long as im still with him. Then he was so happy when i thought I wasnt breaking up with him.This morning, I decided to tell Joe that I think we should take a break. He didnt take it well at all. He said he cried, and i believe him. I know he really loves me.This afternoon I hung out with Phil, we have kissed and hold hands and I know that he really, really likes me. He really wants to be with me and I can tell how much he cares for me by the way he looks at me and talks to me.Ive never been in such a difficult situation before.If I get back with my boyfriend, Phil will be really, really hurt, since he assumed we would be getting together.If I break up with my bf, I would wait a while to go out with Phil. My boyfriend will be completly heartbroken.I know I there isnt anything I can do without hurting one of them. So, what would be the best thing for me to do?Please, please dont tell me just pick the guy you like best. I am tired of hearing that because it really is not that easy. Thanks sooo much.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 'Torn between two lovers'. Is such a dilema for you and i feel sorry for you because you are trying to do the right thing. It won't be easy on you. If you go back to Joe you will always be wondering when anything goes wrong , did you do the right thing. If you stay with Phil, you may feel sorry for Joe and be comparing them all the time. At least you have tried to be honest to Joe and not two timed him or anything like that. You could try keeping away from them both until you really can decide. Do a list of things you like about each guy and see who scores the most. Tough choices here and I don't envy you at all.
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