A
male
age
30-35,
*an_derby
writes:This isn't a relationship problem or nothing like that, but it's just that i really need some help with this. About 4 years ago both of my parents, twin brother and younger sister died in a car accident. Me and 5 year older sister survived. With no direct family to look after us we were both put into different foster families. My sister is now at university in Bristol, but i am only 15 so i am still with my foster family. But this morning they sat me down and said that they want to adopt me. I know i should be happy about this, but i am just scared that if i accept that i will lose my parents name and memory because at the end of the day being adopted is legally becoming a member of another family, but i don't want to leave my parent's family name. Should i accept or say no? Please help.. thanks Dan
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): HiI would treasure the name you have and the name been offered. Feel blessed and remember a name can not or ever will take away your love and memories of your family. Never feel guilty or like you are betraying your family if you accept the name.Your family have probably sent this new family to love and take care of you while they are in heaven watching over you. Always accept GIFTS OF LOVE.Have a double barreled name ( use both sir names)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Hi
I would treasure the name you have and the name been offered. Feel blessed and remember a name can not or ever will take away your love and memories of your family. Never feel guilty or like you are betraying your family if you accept the name.Your family have probably sent this new family to love and take care of you while they are in heaven watching over you. Always accept GIFTS OF LOVE.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): It makes you a part of a second family, and doesn't replace the family you lost. If you want them to adopt you but want to keep you name then do that. I am sure it is possible for them to legally adopt you and you keep your surname. Or you take your surname as a middle name of you wanted to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Oh Dan, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand not wanting to lose what little you have left of your ties to your family. That has to be very important to you and who you see yourself as. I think you should talk to your foster family and ask if you could keep your name and still be adopted. I believe your family would want you to be surrounded by love.
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A
male
reader, ChaseTerrier  +, writes (4 November 2008):
I recommend that you talk to your adopted parents about this. If you are too nervous to talk to them, write them a letter that is right to the point but is still respectful towards them.
Your adopted parents should understand why you do not want to forget about your family and give up your family name.
And just remember, you are not a member of another family but you are just gaining more family memebers (the adopted family and your biological family memebers: decease and living).
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