A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in an LDR. It has been over a year since we met. Have been struggling a lot. It is more because of self created thoughts of insecurity even when he is honest, loyal and totally committed. I know this also but I just feel jealous of the people he sometimes hangs out with- girls. Till now my friends didnt know about our relationship so on my social networking page I recently updated my status as in a relationship with .... My bf accepted that too and now its like both of our friends know we are together. It felt good to me. He felt good too when his friends congratulated him. I dont know but inside me somewhere it made me feel more secure.Now his friends have started commenting sleazy stuff about our future life and how he should take care of some sexual stuff. Guys! He got very annoyed as it could seem really bad if anyone from his family read all that stuff. He said 'what the hell.. why the hell should people know I am in a relationship.. I didnt get into it by asking people in the first place.. Look what all they are posting.' He deleted the comments but status is still the same.I felt bad and guilty for this that I have done this out of my sheer insecurity under the cloak of declaring you love to the world. I never wanted to make him feel like this. Although he didnt stretch the thing. But I am afraid if there are any more such comments it would be bad for our relationship. I dont even know how to justify this thing.. what to tell him.I love him a lot really. He is the best guy I could ever be with. Its all wonderful. My thoughts too are under control now as I have begun to concentrate more on trust factor and 'live and let live'....... but is there anything I can do to minimise any negative outcomes of this... or should I apologise to him.. and tell him that it makes me feel better so I did it.
View related questions:
facebook, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Maybe I'm missing the point of the story here, since you're rather vague and fail to make the question clear..
But are you asking to apologize about the lack of sex due to the distance or because you happen to be a virgin and have not had sex just yet??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): Just because it is a long distance relationship does not make it a fantasy relationship. Some people can be in a long distance relationship and make them work and build a life together. Some people just can't be in a long distance relationship for whatever reason they have (usually physical reasons)Don't let anyone tell you or imply that it is just a fantasy because they cannot understand Long Distance Relationships. You can't help what people post on his wall on facebook, you did nothing wrong. Let him know that you feel bad about the comments, and that you didn't want him to have to deal with that, you just wanted to show how much you love him and that you are proud to be with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is 27.. i am 26.. we spent a month together and then he left.. he is much more mature than I am. I do childish stuff I know. I felt bad here due to the reason behind it. I wanted to do it since long but he wasnt open about our relationship with his friends (all facebook contacts who are his college and professional friends) except his best friend and his family. So I never did it but I thought we should be open now it has been a year already and why to hide.
Maybe I wanted to test him and he cleared it.. but then I didnt like when he got pissed off seeing people post all trash on his wall and he deleted the trashy comments and disabled wall posts.
I wont call it a fantasy relationship. He is coming to meet my parents this December. We are serious about each other but distance kills.. and I do every possible effort to keep things alive. He reciprocates well.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 "I felt bad and guilty for this that I have done this out of my sheer insecurity under the cloak of declaring you love to the world."
You feel bad for saying you are dating him? Why would that be a problem?
You are not responsible for whatever random weird friends of his decide to post. They are responsible for their own posts.
I think the problem is that you two have not spent any time together and this is more of a fantasy relationship than one that has a true future?
How old is he?
...............................
|
