A
female
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anonymous
writes:i broke up with my ex boyfriend about 4 years ago and recently one of his close friends has been trying to come onto me every time i see him. Although its making me wonder whether or not he's doing it just to make my ex jealous.When i was with my ex and we used to be in his friends company he never really showed much of an interest in me, he would always talk to my ex and they would have a good laugh. I only really spoke to this guy to try and make conversation because to tell you the truth i honestly didnt think that he liked me much. But now he's showing a completely different side to himself. When im out in a bar he would usher his way over to where i am and start to talk and then keeps asking me if i want to come back to his. I don't know whether i should just take him up on the offer or just simply say no. I mean i do like him kind of and would like to get to know him a bit better but then again i wouldn't want to just be used.
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female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 It sounds to me like he wants 'friends with benefits'! No mention of a proper date but he wants you 'to come back to his'?! I'd steer clear until you know the real reason he wants to be with you. You deserve much more than casual sex! Also, you don't come across that you much fancy him, it sounds like this situation is more convenient that actual attraction! Don't jump into anything, be mysterious and make him come running. Do it on your terms only!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): Well, this guy really isn't much of a friend to your ex because good friends never go after their friends ex's; they are untouchable.
Also, guys don't try to make their friends jealous by going after ex's, if they are after you, that means they want you.
People change a lot in 4 years, perhaps he did not like you then but likes you now. Perhaps he has liked you all along and now feels it is the right time to express it. Or perhaps he sees you as an easy catch because you know him from before.
So if you want to get to know him better go out to a movie with him or have some lunch together. Don't just go to his place immediately without knowing him better because you will, most likely, be used.
I hope this helps!
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