A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have split up amicably. I have just heard from her daughter that she wants me to live with her. I do know now that she wants me as a sexually active partner. It transpires that we have the same needs and desires. The age difference doesn't bother us. She is infertile therefore no children can result from the intended intercourse. Has anyone had similar?
View related questions:
split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): I have a step daughter that I have raised since the age of three. She may not be my biological daughter but that die is cast now and forever more.
If I met a woman with a grown daughter and after we broke up the daughter want to play slap and tickle it would be Katy bar the door.
BBQ
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 May 2011):
 The interesting part here is that you are more concerned about children coming out of this, instead of the emotional mess you will engage in.
Yes, bless that there will be no children, but I think you ought to use protection even though, just to be safe. She could be lying to you. If she's a teenager on young adult, they are baby-crazy, she could be telling you this just to get knocked up and knowing you, and knowing you will be a good father (you've been a father-figure to her after all), and knowing you can provide for it... could be tempting.
There's also the risk that she's mentally disturbed since she's seeking out a sexual relationship with her step-father. And there's the fact that you will get frowned upon by all people of society. And imagine the relationship this girl will have with her mother. By the way, is her relationship with her mother bad? Could it be she just wants to get back at her mom, or wants to use to you as an escape ticket?
I question this girls sincerity and also her ability to make sensible decisions. I would question your ability to make sensible decisions as well, as you even had to ask this question. Just be warned. This doesn't smell like anything good will come out of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 May 2011):
 You could try writing to Woody Allen, he will know for sure.
I remember Mia Farrow was not so happy about it, though.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 May 2011):
 Sorry, that is just Eww. You two may not be biologically linked, but you were her mother's partner. Which... sort of makes her your "child".
If your dating pool is THAT shallow you need to get out more.
You want sex, she want a male role model in her life via sex. It's so wrong on soooooo many levels.
YOU are taking advantage of this odd situation.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Notice its all the women who are saying no.
I'm a guy and if a hotter, younger version of my partner wanted to have sex with me (and she wasnt mine of course) then I would say bring it on.
Lets strip everything away here, you are in your 50s, shes in her late teens/twenties perhaps? When are you going to get a chance like this again?
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 May 2011):
Sorry man, but I wouldn't touch this with a ten feet pole. There are just some things you don't do and shagging your ex's daughter is at a top spot on that list.
Sure, I get that this is a two way street, that she may have initiated it. But right now is the time to show that you learned something from all these years you spent on this planet and be the more sensible one.
There are plenty of women on this planet. Please be sensible and find someone else when you know how much it would hurt and disgust your ex if you would go through with it. This is a mother's greatest nightmare. Don't be stupid just because you want sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (19 May 2011):
 You didn't mention love in this?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 May 2011):
 how old is said child?
did you raise her? for how many years?
not that it would change my opinion of what is right and wrong
Emotionally she is a child of yours... the children of our partner become our children as well if we are behaving properly and in an adult manner
to think that it's appropriate for you to establish a sexual relationship with a quasi-child of yours leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): You don't want to go down this route. It will devastate her mother. What is the daughter thinking? Show her you have more morals,please!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): There might be mixed feelings here from the daughter. She is what? In her twenties maybe? You say she is much younger than yourself. You might have been in her life for a while in a fatherly role and she has grown used to you and is fond of you. She might feel asking to live with you as a partner is the only way to secure you and keep you in her life. So reassure her you can still be there for her in the role of a father figure but don't be tempted to go any further than that. Treat her as you would a daughter and you will have her and her mother in your life as friends. Step over the line and you will end up losing any good opinion her mother has of you and probably the daughter will move on too once she has fully adjusted to your split from her mother. In short, don't go there. Its a complete no,no.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): No i haven't had similar...thank goodness. I am a mother with a boyfriend. And I'd find the thought of him going from me to living with and having sex with my daughter very repugnant. So if you value your amicable break from the mother and you have any respect for her and her feelings, please don't be tempted to now start a relationship with her daughter. Not only will you alienate your ex partner but in time there is more than a good chance any relationship with her daughter will fizzle out too and you will be left with no contact from either of them. Also, there is the risk that the mother could quite rightly begin to suspect there was something 'going on' between you and her daughter prior to your break up. That could lead to a rift between her and her daughter which might never heal again. Its really not worth all the trouble it could cause. Quite frankly it will be much better if you can rise above anything so seedy and move on with your dignity intact to fresh pastures.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (19 May 2011):
 HiNo dont go there....this will have a massive disaster tag written all over it. You were with her mother!!! how do you think this will effect their relationship? You dont say if you were married to her mother, or for how long you were together, but if you have been a father figure to her daughter, then this would be so wrong in so many ways. It makes NO difference wether this girl can have children or not, you should not even contemplate, or concieve of such a thought. There are some lines you dont cross, and this is one of them. Could you really be happy together knowing it could cause great family problems? possibly even split the mother and daughter\ relationship for good? could you hold your head up high and be proud of your relationship with her? or is this a case of a mid-life crisis? I think you must be very flattered that a girl younger than yourself has boosted your ego, but you have more life experience an should do the right thing, by declining this offer. ou have not done anything yet, so why start something that could ruin so many lives?I am sure there are many women your age who would have the same desire and needs as you do. You just need to go out more, start dating again , then you will find her. but honestly leave your ex partners daughter out of the picture.Aunt Mandy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): If you want things to remain amicable between your ex and you then I strongly suggest you not pursue anything with her daughter. It would be totally innapropriate.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): i would not mess with my ex's daughter. If you dated her mum i think it is gross. there are other girls out there
...............................
|
