A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I am about to explode this minute.I don't know why but I have been broken up with my ex for a year and I never can seem to let it go. I know he's an asshole as he left me for another girl. I know guys like him don't deserve a single second of attention but I always can't resist him. If he calls or text, I always reply even if I hate him. If he doesn't, I do the chasing.I have read a thousand advises here to cut contact but I can't do it. Why is it so hard? I feel like I am going crazy.And yesterday, I made up a new account on chat and I chatted with him and asked him about his history and he said he had 3 gfs and the last one was a married girl. He did not even mention about me, and he left me for her. The most painful part is that he said that this married girl and him see each other on a hotel he books twice a month. And those were the exact days he was gone and told me lies about.I don't care if it was the sex, but I can't believe he loved her inspite of my presence. I live near to him while this girl live in another city. It is sooooo painful. I can't believe he denied information about me, and I was his official gf. Why did he lie? Why did he chose her over me when I was the ideal one?I don't know what to do now. Help me pls. He wont respond to my texts now and telling me he is angry that the other girl found out he was texting me and said he hates me for getting him into trouble. Doesn't he know how i feel when I discovered his relationship with this married girl? I would love to call the girls husband and report it. And he said to me the husband will never have evidence about them as they are good in hiding. I really really hate him.Help me get out of this pls!!!
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female
reader, kcmh +, writes (27 January 2010):
My husband of 22 yrs. walked out on me and 3 kids, essentially erasing us all from his life, like we never existeda at all, no warning, just left, oh after I found out he was sleeping around. I still can't let go, we live in the same small town, he won't see me, or communicate with me at all, rarely, I mean 4-6-8 weeks go by without a phone call or visit from dad.
Oh yeah, no financial support either.
He told me he loved me till the day he bailed.
I can't let go either, 2 yrs. later, my family vanished, and he doesn't care in the least.
Be glad you didn't was over 2 decades on this guy.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (26 January 2010):
You can cut contact, you just choose not to. I'm just gonna be brutally honest, but you only have yourself to blame for feeling like crap a year later. Of course he's a total piece of crap and SO not worth your time, but YOU, yes you, allow it to continue. You are a human being with self control but choose this lame ass to have total control over you. You're like a little puppet for him and anytime he calls you, he has full control and if he doesn't contact you, you're trying to get his attention.
So you have two options. The first is to continue to feel this way, reply to his texts and phone calls, and just be flat out miserable because he doesn't give a shit about you.
Or the second is to change your phone number that way he cannot contact you and learn to have some self control so that you don't save his number and call him again. Delete and forget everything you have about him. Don't use any old logins for IM or whatever so he can't contact you and block him on social networking sites.
Also, you really need to move on and quit thinking about what's going on in his life. Forget about the married lady he's having an affair with, none of it should concern you. Take the steps you need to do to basically start over without him in your life. Distract yourself with other things. It's normal to be upset over a breakup, especially when someone cheated on you (believe me, I know), and I know the feeling of wanting total revenge on the person that cheated on you. BUT, especially after a year, it's time to grow up and move on. You're wasting way too much energy on someone that does not care about you and exerts absolutely no energy on you. You can do it, prove to yourself that you're a strong woman that won't let some stupid man control her life, not some weakling that's still playing the victim a year later.
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