A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if someone can help me..my boyfriend broke up with me because I had been a bad girlfriend, I was the very jealous type when I had no reason to be and it drove him crazy. I was heartbroken. Months later he contacted me and we talked daily just on friendly terms. I told him how i still had feelings for him and he told me that he really likes me but he does not want to do this "disfavor of us trying to work a relationship out". He said the overall way relationships are shaped, what they look like and there end goal are all just crap...those are his exact words. He said I shouldn't take it personal but he doesn't want to go out with anyone..hes not the type to say this just to be single..but i can't help but think hes saying this because he doesnt wanna be with me? Does anyone have any ideas on why he would say this? We did have an unhealthy relationship but that was months ago, could i have hurt him and scared him this bad because of that?? Just looking for someones advice..thank you
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female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (11 January 2009):
i dont think youve scarred him at all i think hes tried his hardest to say it in a way he thinks youll understand (sometimes when guys do this it doesnt come out the way they wanted it to sound) but hes failed at this! he has his reasons for not wanting to make a go of it and you should respect that and work on what you can do as a person to stop this affecting your future relationships.
sometimes it just doesnt work no matter how much you put into it, if he doesnt want it then its something you hve to accept, it takes two to make a relationship work and although you wont see it yet you will in the future find this with someone else.
i think hes said this as a way of saying 'look its over' but he doesnt want to be that blunt with you so hes trid the tactics motive. i think this is because he does care for you and doesnt want to hurt you. i doubt he will stay single and keep to this method, personally i think hes taking everything into account and maybe he blames himself in some ways as it sometimes is a bit of both sides that can break a relationship.
you need to sort yourself out rather than questioning the past, use this to your advntage and work on your faults (we all have them and we can all change them) youve been given the option to now so do it. you will start to see a change and future relationships will be happy and healthy which is what we all need!
remember also he got back in touch with you- this means he does care and hes thought about your relationship, stay mates with him i think he wants that to work out and deep down you do two. its hard to have an ex as a mate and only the stronger ones manage too i think together you could. dont worry about the past, leave it there- rebuild yur future making it your own. best of luck xxx
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