A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:about 5 years ago i went out with this guy who i absolutly loved to bits but it didnt work out so i tried to forget about him. i got a new partner who i have been with for 2 years and we have a kid together but ... a few months ago we moved in to the same block of flats as my ex who i loved so much. all the feelings i had have come back. hes also got a partner. but i keep wishin he would try and make a move on me. he acts as if he doesnt no who i am but when hes on his own he always looks at me and goes shy. does this mean he feels the same? i am so confused
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move on, moved in, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): While reading your question I thought of one thing, that sprung to my mind...how is your relationship going with your current bf? Remember him, the father to your child? Has life with him gotten complacent, boring, you want excitement again? Just a thought.
Hun, it's been 5 years since you saw this other guy. In the meantime, you have forged on, met another man and you have a family with him. So now, if life is good why do you care if this old bf, feels the same for you? If he's ignoring or giving you shy glances that doesn't mean he wants you, hun. Have you not wondered why you are thinking this way? What is going on in your personal life to make you want attentions from some guy from your past, who by the way is in a relationship with another woman? Your wish to have this other man make a move on you is all about your ego and that's it. Sweety, you are human, and none of us will deny the huge ego trip in having someone else attracted to us. But with a lot of us, we put the brakes on all the the pondering and dwelling over a past love, when we remember the lives of other people who love us. Our partners and our children. We think about the pain and suffering and devastation we could bring to their lives, if we were ever to consider an affair with another person. If you are unhappy in your relationship and desperate for love and affirmation from your current man, then go and hash this issue out with him. Don't look toward the fantasy of possibly cheating with another unavailable man, to bandage problems you may be having at home. Go home and talk to your man and hug your child. With maturity, commitment and caring for your family, you can get through this struggle and go forward. Forget about this other guy and move on.
A
female
reader, Tanyas247  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 I wouldn't get your hopes up. Nothing should come of any lingering feelings until you've talked with your current partner about it. I know the feelings you're having, and it is hard to avoid them when you live so close to him, but at least consider the feelings of your partner and the reasons you two split up. Sometimes the past seems better than it really was, or emotions become inflated, so I would move with caution and do some thinking.
Best of Luck
Tanya
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