A
female
age
36-40,
*hanohchan
writes:i really want this to work but how will it work when i know deep down that i cant trust him he seams to think i should get over it but it hard when you have been lied to. we have a child together we live in different houses a 40 minute drive he seams to think that there is nothing wrong with that as relationship, i think that it isn't a stable environment to bring up a child one day dad is here living with us and the next 4 days he is no where to be seen. i don't want to seam pushy i don't want him to move in with me cause last time we lived together it was too much stress. but can you have a part time family does it really work ?we have been through a lot together and i wanna make it work i know it will take a lot of effort but is it worth it just for a relationship that is only "part time "he say he wants to be with me but if he does why is it not fully time and 100% serious.please help thank you ! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xkimx +, writes (30 January 2007):
 listen is he cheating on you ? no well think of your kid i no loads of kids that are pretty messed up because of there parents splitting thay may seem fine but look that you are doing , do you love him ? does he love you? if you dont feel comfortable forget it it wont work you need more time let your child be involved in it .explain so he/she understands no matter what the age (obveously not new born )
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): If there is too much stress around when you two live together then the living arrangements that you have right now sound fine to me. I brought up my youngest on my own for five years and he has turned out ok. Single parents can and do manage to bring up kids great. And it is very rewarding and satisfying to know that you have done it. If i was you i would ask myself just what i want. Do you want 100% from him? Do you want to continue this part-time arrangement? When you discover just what you do want then get to talk to him. Put your point across, work something out, but never be afraid of bringing kids up on your own, i did it, so anyone can.
Take care and i'm here if you ever want to get in touch.
xx
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A
female
reader, Tanyas247  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You have good instincts and are smart to question this. When someone betrays your trust, it is difficult to learn to trust them again, especially when they tell you to 'just get over it.'
Is he good to your child? Do you feel he really wants to help you raise your child? Many single mothers are successful and happy if the father is more work than help. Trust your instincts. If he is not who you want to have a family with, then do not go out of your way for him.
Best of Luck
Tanya
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