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My ex was hiding something, am I right?

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2019) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2019)
A female United States age 41-50, *atlover30 writes:

My ex broke with me and block me from fb, after 10 days he told me he missed me, but cant be with me, but he also did not wanted to tell me where he was living etc . He kept texting trying to be friends, which I tried. He told me when we met that he was divorced in 2015, but after break up, in social media i saw his suppose to be ex with her status saying married still, and a photo of them together in 2017. I text him asking if he had being honest with me? , i did not mention the photo, but he did not answer, he just replied with a photo saying dont make me regret, because my time is important..... After 2 days, i write him why does he threath with regret, if i am just making a question. He reply me that i must know the answer for that. I reply him that the problem is that he never responded my question and saying i should know the answer... he block me and deleted me after that.. Which i think our 1 year talking and dating for 6 months, he was married. Although he denies it... I am thinking right?? he must hide something??

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (16 February 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt Yes ; most probably he was and is still married. He sort of admitted it himself ! " He replied me that I must know the answer for that "- to me, it reads like " Why, haven't you figured it out by yourself, isn't it clear ? "

Don't waste time trying to be friends, that's ridicolous. And , in future, remember that if a date does not want you to know where he lives- there must be something fishy going on.

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A female reader, catlover30 United States +, writes (16 February 2019):

catlover30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I block him from my phone, delete his phone... The first months i went where he was living, but he wasgoing to move from there., there where boxes.. Maybe he had to places where he lived.. Or his wife was traveling, etc...After he broke up, he told me he moved from that place.. But, i just block him also, i dont want him to unblock me and start looking, like he did after the break up... Thank you all for your answers..

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A female reader, catlover30 United States +, writes (16 February 2019):

catlover30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes, i block him. I went at his place the first months, but when he broke up he moved from

that place. Maybe always had two

places to live. I also blocked from all media, and changed my phone number, etc...

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (15 February 2019):

YouWish agony auntOh, absolutely. You were either a mistress and the "other woman" in his cheating on his CURRENT marriage, *OR* he found someone new and is ghosting you.

I mean, come on. SIX months you were dating someone without even KNOWING where he lives?? That's highly irregular. He's got a family that he's hiding. You ALREADY KNOW the truth. His "threat" was made out of fear, because if you were to find where he lives, you could disrupt his life. Same with his wife. Find out where she lives, and you find HIM.

He blocked you for the same reason why hit-and-run drivers try to conceal their license plates...so that you don't grow a brain and do some simple background research on him!

Honestly -- look him up online using the most rudimentary methods, and you'll know EVERYTHING about him. His current address, criminal and civil record, his "digital footprint", his kids' names if he has any, his parents, neighbors, what he paid for his house or apartment, etc.

Otherwise, the other option, and I RECOMMEND ThiS, is for you to be YOUR OWN closure, and drop this guy. Walk away knowing you dodged and bullet and didn't waste your time on a "stringer".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2019):

Let this man remain your ex. If you suspect someone to be married, and you've found some evidence that indicates that might be the case; shuck the friendship. It's total bull. He's trying to keep a mistress and has gone back to his wife.

It's fine to be on civil terms with your ex. Unless you are 100% over that person, it's not friendship. You're hanging-on to false-hope that you'll revive the dead relationship. It's a sure way to be manipulated by your feelings.

I always make reference to a woman's age when answering posts like yours. Let's be adults. You're mature enough to know when you're being played. Mature women allow themselves to be used and abused by boyfriend or husbands; for fear they won't find another man. So a bad man is better than no man at all. That's a terrible mindset. Truth is, you can do bad all by yourself. Do you need help?

Cut all ties and move on. You know what's up, or have some fair suspicion of what's going on. Let-go!!!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou are allowing this lying idiot to live rent-free inside your brain. Evict him IMMEDIATELY and stop wasting time and energy on him. He is NOT WORTH IT!

Of course he was still married. Chalk this one up to experience and move on. There are many honest men out there who will not lie to you. Find one. It is what you deserve. Consign this one to the trash where he belongs.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (15 February 2019):

Honeypie agony auntWho not just GET RID of all contact and thoughts of him?

IT IS OVER. Why give him the power to roam free in your head like that? Why pretend to be friends?

He WAS probably gas-lighting you. Lying to you, so GET RID of the scumbag from your life, social media, phone and your head-space...

Then LET it go. He was OBVIOUSLY not the right guy for you.

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