A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My first boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. Within that time he has asked me to think about getting back together with him, even though at the time of the break up it was 'years' until he said we could get back together. I agreed we could try it for a while to see if it'll work, I told him he had to want me for me to want him and that the use of drugs would have to stop if we ever got back together. He said that he would stop doing those if we did get back together. Though now I feel as if I should give us a longer break, I love him, don't get me wrong, and miss him and our relationship everyday... but a lot of things have changed. I've gone on a date with someone and they treated me like a princess, which my ex has stopped doing since the break up obviously. I'm not even sure if the guy I went on a date with wants to start a relationship and I'm not sure if I want to either. I'd like to tell my ex I don't want a relationship right now and just be two people that have a past... I truly do hope we get back together after he realizes and I realize what we want in a relationship. I'm afraid of losing the person I love. Is this a dumb thing to do? If this seems like a good idea, how should I express this to my ex?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 May 2011):
If you really love him, go back. Don't keep him hanging, because he will move on.
Perhaps the fact that you still want to be apart is a sign that he's not the one anyway?
A
female
reader, girl27792  +, writes (30 May 2011):
hello, that is a tricky problem you have. the only advise i can give is, if you really feel that he will change and not just say he is and you's both still like eachother then you should go for it. however if u still want a longer break you can tell him that u need to see a change in him beore you's get back together because even though he says that he will do it, you need to know for yourself that he isnt just all talk. but to be honest i believe that the both of you's need to go into this new relationship with 110% because you dont want be be in a rollecoaster realtionship, no one does! you have to do whats right for you, i hope i helped :) xx
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 May 2011):
 I guess you just need to make up your minds sweetie. You cant have the best of both worlds I am afraid. You need to make up your mind what you want. When it comes to your ex you need to take some time out and think if it is him that you really want to be with. To me it sounds like you do want to be with him but for now you want to enjoy single life for a while and explore other options. This is not a bad thing but you also need to look at it from another aspect and ask yourself what you would do then if in that time apart he found someone else. There is a lot to consider here.
Sweetie just take some time out and think about what you really want and what would make you the happiest at the moment, whenever you decide well the best thing to tell your ex is the truth. Be completely honest with him. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 the key words in your question are"the one i love" OK so which one is that? figure that out and you'll know what to do. Otherwise, he's in a holding pattern(boy 1) and that's really unfair.
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