A
female
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anonymous
writes:I ended a relationship with my lover because i felt it wasn't going anywhere and i told him that.We couldn't agree to compromise so i walked away.Trouble is my ex will not accept this and says he misses me alot.He wants us to remain friends and just see each once a week for a drink etc.My feeling is you cant really remain friends if the other person still wants you romantically? Im not sure what to do? Could we still see each other as just friends or has my ex have other motives such as sex? which i think he still does.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): well i think that if u just want to be friends then tell him that and say if u dont like that then too bad and walk away. If u tell him that u will never never never never never never never never never never want to have sex again. thats my advice and i hope it works
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): NO its not possible to be friends when one is still in love with the other, if you continue to be friends then the person will never move on! trust me i have the same situation but she broke up with me and wants to be friends. it just leads to me getting frustrated and sad and i believe that this situation would never work. best to move on!
bye.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (20 September 2006):
 I agree with what you have said, its kind of hard to remain friends with someone you used to date especially if he still harbours strong feelings for you. I think its best if you didnt continue to see each other, seeing each other every week stirs up old feelings and he may start thinking you want to get back with him as a couple. Sometimes you have to be "cruel" to be kind, he may not accept it at first, but in the long run, its best if you dont see each other as mates. Take care. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): It sounds like he does want you back, hun. If you are determined to walk away, you may need to say goodbye once and for all. Because the way it sits now, ex lovers always will interfere with any and all subsequent relationships, you will find in your future. There may come a day when he has healed and recovered and finds someone else, in his life. If at that time, you feel being friends with him won't drag you down...then by all means, do it then. But for now, stop all contact so he can recover. This may take a long time, depending on the kind of person he is. Healing takes time and it's differs for everyone. But if he's seeing you and able to be with with you, this is and will contine to keep him hopeful and if you have no intent to reconcile, then that's unfair to him. Be strong, hun...it's better for all concerned. take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): Hi there,
I think you are right about this. If your boyfriend still wants to be with you, and misses you, the worst thing you can do is to keep on seeing him. In your eyes, it will be like you are helping out someone you love - as a friend - but he will always be looking at you as his girlfriend, everything you do and say will be taken the wrong way.
It is really nice to see that you care about him, and want him to be happy. I think though, the best way to help him would be to tell him that it would be for the best not to see him indefinately, but that if he is happy in a few months then perhaps you could have a talk or something then, but make it clear that the relationship IS over.
If you are on taking terms and he is being reasonable then you could also encourage him to go out with his friends and do any thing else that you know would take his mind off the unhappiness. In the future, he'll look back and I'm sure he'll feel glad that things out amicably - and that's a very, very special thing because it rarely ever works out that way for couples who break up. Good luck, ok!
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (20 September 2006):
 Hi hunny I know that it will be hard in your ex but you have to be firm with him. Tell him that you would like to be his friend but you feel it is best that you dont get in contact witheachother for a while. This bloke needs time to get over you, he obviously cannot accept that it is over.
He will never be able to get over you if he sees you every week. Do him a favour and tell him no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): the thing is you have to ask yourself what you want from him. If you want a relationship then you have to walk away. He will always disappoint you if you cant compromise. You will end up confused and hurt if you dont make the break
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