A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex of 1 year got a job opportunity in France a few months back and we decided to end it due to the distance. She wants to see me before she leaves but I don’t know if that is a good idea as I’m trying to move on and it may spark old feelings for us. I still really care about her and it wasn’t a bad ending. Would it be a bad idea to say goodbye to her?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 June 2018):
 If you want to meet up to say good-bye then I agree with Honeypie about meeting in a public place for tea or lunch or something. It's easier to keep your feelings in check when you're in public.
If you've gotten over a lot of that pain once, you can do it again, so you can take comfort from that.
On the other hand if you don't want to meet up, that is perfectly reasonable as well. You've already said your good-byes.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 June 2018):
 What do YOU want to do? What was YOUR gut instinct when she raised the subject? Was your first thought "Oh no, just when I was starting to feel better" or was it "Yes, I must do this as part of my recovery"?
We are all different and you will get different answers from different people, all based on their own experiences. There is no right or wrong answer to this one. I depends on what YOU want to do.
In your shoes I would not go there. It smacks too much of a romantic film scene. Girl and boy date, they split up because one is going to go away, they meet up "one last time", they realize they still love each other and live happily ever after. HOWEVER, that is a film. It is not real life. If your meeting DOES reignite feelings you both still have for each other, there will be no happy ending but rather a long drawn-out long distance relationship which will be difficult and which will probably just prolong the inevitable end. Even if the LDR doesn't happen, it is likely to set back your recovery from this relationship. I would wish her well but say you don't think it's a good idea to meet up. She's in the past; leave her there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2018): I would disagree and say don't bother. Why put salt in fresh wounds? You are on your way to recovery so wish her well and let her go. There's always messenging and nothing wrong with caring from a distance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2018): Personally I would leave it as it is. I would find it too hard to meet up when I know they're leaving. I don't see the point in opening a wound that could be some way towards closing.
You have been given different points of view here, so it looks as though you have to look to yourself and how YOU feel about it. I would find it a tortuous meeting, but maybe it's something you would LIKE to do.
If not, then you're perfectly within your rights to decline and just wish her well.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2018): Save your goodbye's for seeing her off at the airport on the final day. Let everything be as usual until then.
Avoid unnecessary drama.
Once she leaves; I think it is best for you to cut all ties, and move on. You're still clinging to her. It wouldn't spark feelings; you still have them. It's time you get-over them.
Don't put yourself through some grueling date; knowing she's parting anyway. Let her getting on that plane symbolize your freedom and moving on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 June 2018):
 I agree that I think you'll regret not going, but that you should keep it in public and non-date-like.
I think it would help solidify "she's going to another country, that's the end of it" for you, even if it stings a little.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2018):
 If you DO agree to meet up for a goodbye, make it in public, like a dinner or out for a drink. And don't go back to yours or hers after. Just talk and wish her well.
If you truly want to move on saying goodbye might help. Sure, it might stir up some feelings but you will know you ended it in a nice and caring manner and thus will be free to MOVE on.
I think NOT meeting up and saying good bye will make you "regret" not saying farewell.
Sometimes timing is off, something things just don't work out. If you can walk away at the end of this knowing that you handled yourself with your head held high it might make moving on "easier".
OR if you feel that it's just TOO much, tell her you can't but you wish her the best. And then you BLOCK all contact after.
And know this, if you can find ONE good partner, you can find another. In time.
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