A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a fe male of 22 years old.I dated my ex for about 7 years and during that period of seven years we have been breaking up and we were managing resolve our issues,2 years back i met this other guy which i dated for three years and now we have a son,recently i produced him with a protection order because of the domestic violence,now this ex of seven years wants marriage from me and this father of my baby also want to marry me,m confused that if i marry my ex boyfrieand what will the family of my baby's father say or how will they take it cause i honestly still inlove with this ex boyfriend,,please help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): Ideally I'd say neither of them, certainly not the violent one. Has your ex resolved the issues that once continuously came between you? Or is it likely they'll become a problem again in a relationship/marriage? Ultimately you should go with your heart because its your decision, no one else's. If you still love your ex, then maybe consider marrying him but tread carefully because you don't want to walk into another ruined relationship/marriage. Weigh up all the pros and cons and know the facts before making the final decision. Also you should take particular note of what janniepeg wrote, she talks a heck of a lot of sense on Dearcupid.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 Hi
Your only 22 and have been dating since you were 12yrs old. You have 2 men to pick from now.One abuses you the other is an Ex - which didn't work out.
You love your Ex, not the abusive baby dad,so if your Ex accepts your son then he has to be better for you
If you can manage alone with your son then that would be the best option, to give you space and your baby a good atmosphere to grow in.
However as your current man is violent to the extent you have needed a restraining order, be very careful.Make sure you have somebody there when you tell him it's over.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 Baby father is abusive, so marriage is not going to change that. Your ex wants to be the hero and protect you from the mess. I always hear people wanting to get married when they are really not ready for the responsibility. One of the motivations to take on this lifelong responsibility is that both partners are happy together. It should not be a heat of the moment decision, or simply wanting to possess the person so the other couldn't. You tried to resolve issues with your ex boyfriend but gave up since you met the baby father. Marriage is not going to suddenly resolve your issues. By marrying the baby father you are undoing the protection order. You are risking yourself for the sake of an intact family, but at least think about the welfare of your son. If baby father abuses the son you will never be able to forgive yourself. Baby father's family doesn't have a say. It's not surprising that even they will take on the abuser's side and blame problems on you. These are not people you need in your life.
As for your ex, I don't know why you broke up. He has had 7 years to propose, but he only tries again after this baby drama. Maybe he had proposed in the past and you didn't feel he was the one, hence the broke up. I just feel your 7 year ex is the lesser of the two evil but that doesn't mean you have to settle.
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