A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago. We were together for a year, lived together as well. Although the reaosn why he broke up with me wasn't actually clear at all, I think it had something to do with him feeling insecure - basically he was more into me than I was into him. I loved him, but he was absolutely madly in love with me. Or so he said.How 4 months on, having had very little contact apart from about issues with bills etc from living together, he has started contacting me, alot.He has gone through the whole going out everynight partying and getting home at 5am phase.Now he's texting me telling me he really appreciated all the little things I did around the house, the little things I would do for him that he took for granted. He said he had to see me one night, that he couldn't get me out of his head. He told me that I'm still number one, and when we discussed his ex girlfriend (who desperately tried to break us up, but also someone he would run to when we would argue, hence making me feel insecure) and he told me she's angry because she knows I'm still number one to him. He wants us to start a "friends with benefits" thing - sex with no strings, or friends enjoying each others' company as he puts it.I asked him why he wouldn't have a f*ck buddy relationsip with one of his many close girl friends, and he replied that he finds me very sexy, and he is completely comfortable with me, and that I mean so muchn to him.I told him I don't want a sex fling, I want a relationship (not with him).What on earth should I make of all this?What does he really want??
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Don't wait for him. If someone catches your eye, go for that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has since told me that he wants a relationship with me in the future, but isn't ready for total commitment right now.
I told him that I want more than a fling, and if he's ready for commitment in the future, we'll see where we stand, but I;m not going to be waiting around holding my breath.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I think Danielepew is correct here, your ex has told you what he wants.
I think that you know you deserve more in a relationship than just being FWBs, and I suggest you keep him at arm's length until all the finances and settling of the accounts are sorted. Then you can really decide if you want him on his terms, but I rather think that you are worth more than that!
Don't settle for a relationship that isn't what you really want. Life is too short; and there are many men out there who will appreciate you and not play games with you.
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A
male
reader, john101 +, writes (15 April 2008):
 maybe hes thinking if i have a fling with her i might be able to get into her life again. so maybe this is his way of trying to get you back into his life
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A
male
reader, john101 +, writes (15 April 2008):
maybe hes thinking if i have a fling with her i might be able to get into her life again. so maybe this is his way of trying to get you back into his life
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (14 April 2008):
Poster, he has been crystal clear about what he wants: "sex with no strings" and "all the little things [you] did around the house". That's it.
However, since you want a relationship, not with him, but with someone else, what your ex wants is not important at all.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should add that I didn't specifically say I didn't want a relationship with him, I just said that I wanted stability and security, not just be someone's weekend sh*g until they find someone that they want to have a relationship with!
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