A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ex once asked if I want to have dinner with him and his new girlfriend. I refused. yestoday I received his sms asking if i would like to have dinner with him for my birthday couple of days after and just him and I.I refuse him saying not want to make his girlfriend unhappy . I don't know what he want. If he just want to make up for his guilt. It is not necessary. doesn't matter how I 'beg' him to come back to me before, he always said he had girlfriend already. But when I nearly get over him now, he gives me this message which makes me really confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany Thanks Irish49, maybe I was always thinking him too good/kind.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): He's playing a game. If you haven't 'begged for him to come back' in a while, he needs you to appease his deflated ego. That could be all this is. Or...there may be 'trouble in paradise' with his new gf and he looking for a rebound relationship...or he's grown complacent, sexually, with the new gf and wants some action with you. Don't allow that BS, in your life. If you are healing and recovering, do not allow him to be in contact with you...plain and simple.
So because I feel he's doing an interesting piece of work on you and it's all to his advantage, you need to be a strong lady here. When you refuse him, you will have to be more stronger and assertive with him. Don't be afraid to piss him off. If anything he may decide to at least 'respect you finally' and back off. hun. Right now, you may be waffling, being too nicey nice, and he's sensing your lack of boundaries here so he feels that gives him license to keep getting in contact with you.
Tell him no contact. Tell him to leave you alone to recover. I am not saying you can't ever be with him again, you could if he makes a clean break from his current gf, but not until then. But I would be a leery if I were you because I really think that he's displaying a less than admirable character by playing with your feelings and heartfelt emotions here, while he dating another woman. So don't be confused-that makes a woman needy. Be tough and tell him to take a hike.
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